SA Possible outcomes in family court

[Jody]

Hello,
I have a 17month old who I have raised on my own since day 1. The other parent has had limited contact which was their choice. They did come back on the scene 6 months laterand saw the child a couple times a week. I have major trust issues as when the child(9months old) was taken interstate for nearly a week without consent. There is domestic violence reports aswell and evidence of death threats. The other parent made no contact for 3months.
Long story short we have attended mediation. The outcome was 2hours supervised visits a week. This proved unsuccessful. No bond/relationship was formed with child. We went back for a review. We could not agree as what they were asking, 2 days unsupervised a week and overnight the other week was not appropriate at this stage. I had suggested supervised visits to continue but at a contact centre. As they didn’t agree court is the next step. I’m not opposed to unsupervised but at this stage they don’t know the child nor have a bond.
We met just recently as the visits continue until court. Obviously we don’t want to go but we can’t agree on anything. The other parent is trying to persuade me to allow unsupervised but as there are no court orders in place I feel this is not a safe option. Little steps first and gradually build up from there. Unfortunately they don’t see it like that and want what they want. I would never deny visitation but what they want is unrealistic at this given time.
If we are in and out of court over the next few years are they likely to get 50/50? I’m not sure how it generally works and on what they base it on.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

 

[AllForHer]

I don’t even know the other side of the story and I would be willing to bet dad’s going to get unsupervised time with the child and probably to the tune of five nights a fortnight when the child reaches about three or four years of age.

Domestic violence reports? What does that mean? Was Dad charged with a violent crime? Has he abused the child? Was CPS called? Is there a DVO in place?

And death threats? What context? If you don’t let me see my child, I’ll hurt you? Oh no, he must be a really terrible parent for loving his kid and hating anyone who keeps them apart.

Insofar as I can tell, there is no reason for dad’s time with the child to be supervised, other than your unilateral mistrust, and believe me when I tell the most common reason the Court reverses residency of a child these days is because one parent refuses to recognise the other as equally important to the child.

 

[sammy01]

so there is lots of stupid going on here. I'm only going to respond to your stupidity as you're the one on here who asked. That said. It was stupid for dad to take the kid away for nearly a week...
It is also stupid to expect supervised visits.
So kids at 17 months can spend several days a week in a child care centre - with complete strangers, and different strangers each day. Oh but they are trained professionals right? YEP sure, but by that logic nobody should be allowed to take their newborn out of hospital until they have done training and have a certificate to hang on the wall. Let's move on.

So I'm thinking back in the day... When I was still with my ex... At about 18 months of age I reckon we went away for a night and left the little one with Grandma. Short version. Yup baby cried, yup Grandma pulled her hair out. But no real harm done. I don't think what dad is asking is unreasonable..

BUT- BUT - I hear you scream... BUT dad doesn't have a bond with the child... OF course he doesn't. How could he when his access is so limited. Little steps first? sure, but a few hours a week at a contact centre is pretty little. AND I have to tell you that as a bloke, the thought of having someone watching me while I interact with my kids to make sure I'm not doing anything wrong seems pretty bloody horrific.

I'd suggest you offer a parenting plan - 5-6 hours twice a week for a month, then 5-6 hours a week plus an overnight from 4pm-9am and go from there... Look you can drag this through court and in a year or so you'll have more compelling evidence that there isn't a bond between father and child. BUT that will be because you have stopped the dad from having adequate time to form a bond.