NSW Never a couple but parents

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12 November 2017
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My son's baby mother is telling him he cannot see his daughter without her . The child is 1yr old and is breastfed. She also eats other foods. She says legally she doesn't have to until she is 2yrs old. Is this true.?
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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Legally is it true? no... Is it true? yes... Mum has lots of power here. It suxs. But until he gets an agreement OR a court to say differently he really needs to just play nice. If the child was older then applying to court would be worth it...

My thoughts - Play nice, suck it up.... But let her know that she is always welcome to leave baby with him... Maybe even offer for baby to be left with dad and you...

My youngest was 6 mths old when the relationship ended... I felt like I would never bond with him as I didn't see him for months... Tough as it was I just accepted that the ex was going to make it hard and be the boss... Your job and your son's job is to always say YES... Soon enough she will want to go out one night and all of a sudden she will be telling him he has to have the kid. Not legal advice...

Ok legal advice - if he chooses to go the courts he is better waiting until the child is older... Rough - very rough guide... 1yr old = 1 night a week. 2 yr old = 2 nights.... and 50/50 from about 5 or 6 seems to be my observations of how courts work. BUT only with a few other things being equal, like your son being very nice and playing nice even if she doesn't. So clearly he is better off leaving court alone for at least another year or two...
 

AllForHer

Well-Known Member
23 July 2014
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I don't agree with the above. I think the longer you let mum call the shots, the worse things will become for your son and his child.

What he's been told is not correct. Mum and dad share parental responsibility equally unless a Court orders otherwise, and children have a right to a relationship with both parents, regardless of whether said parents were together or not. The challenge here is that the child is very young, so the Court is unlikely to make orders that separate child from mother for periods any longer than a day or two. Psychologists call it attachment theory, and whether true or not, that's simply how it is in family law.

Without court orders, mum is also allowed to do whatever she wants (and so can dad, but he shouldn't - being reckless usually does more harm than good), so he should pursue Court orders as soon as possible.

He needs to contact Legal Aid or Relationships Australia and organise a family dispute resolution conference with the mother to reach agreement on the child's care arrangements.

My suggestion is to negotiate around incremental increases in the child's time with the father. Start at maybe one afternoon a week and one overnight a fortnight, then increase gradually until he reaches five or so nights a fortnight.

If mum isn't agreeable to anything, then he should seek to file an initiating application with the Court for parenting orders.
 

Migz

Well-Known Member
20 November 2016
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Heres how it works;
1. Contact Relationships Australia in your township or nearest town.
2.Tell them you would like to carry out Mediation in the hope of working out a "Parenting Plan" with your ex. Hand over all of their details as well.
3. Carry out mediation and make sure you are issued with a Certificate 60i. Even if mediation fails, get this certificate issued to you.
4. Even if you were or weren't successful in carrying out mediation...next step is Family Circuit Court to turn the parenting plan into court orders.
5. Go to the federal circuit court website, download an "Initiating application ( family law ) " fill it in.
6. Prepare your Affidavit, your Annexures, and your "Notice of Risk". I would advise you see a family lawyer at this point for an hour or two just to get some help. Cost $200 to $600
7. Get it signed by a JP.
8. File it with the Family Circuit Court you can do this online as well it will cost a few hundred dollars $300 to $500. But cheaper than a Barrister.
9. When the documents are stamped by the Family Circuit Court and you are given your court date. Then print them all out.
10. You have to "serve" them on your ex. You will have to use an outside firm to do this you cannot do it yourself. Approx $150
11. Wait for your court date.

Hope this helps and keeps the costs down. Expect all of the above to take approx 2 years.

Get ready for a long and drawn out process...and thousands of hours away from your kids, not by your own choice.

Cheers