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NSW My ex refused to settle and is using the kids a revenge ..what to do?

Discussion in 'Family Law Forum' started by Ala, 17 March 2018.

  1. Ala

    Ala Member

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    I was married for 14 yrs and separated under the same roof for over a year after I found out he was stalking me by recording all ins and out calls..then when I found out he was using a pen camera even in the bathroom ..I lost it and left him and moved out with my 3 kids for 2 months even when the house was under my sole name. We have 3 kids oldest is 11 and twins are 7
    Now I agreed on his request to settle first on 25% of the house..once I agreed he changed his mind and now asking for 50 50 time to spend with the kids so that his equity in the house will increase.
    Since I let him to see the kids, he is brain washing the kids that it is mum fault. I have done nothing..she doesn't want to give me second chance..she blicked me...etc and the kids would come agitated every time I send them with him... up to the level that I started to refuse sending the kids this week and sent only my oldest son to sleep over with him..he started threatening today that he will get a court order.. don't know what to do?!!!
    Help please
     
  2. AllForHer

    AllForHer Well-Known Member

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    If I were dad, I would be getting a court order, too, because as it turns out, parenting isn't a matter of mum 'letting' dad see his kids. He is a parent to those kids, just like you, whether you like it or not. Ridiculous, right?

    My advice to you is to pull your head in. Withholding the kids for absolutely no reason other than you feel offended by what he's apparently telling the kids, shows the Court that you neither support nor encourage the kids' relationship with their father, and hot tip for young players, that's how dad is going to build a really, really persuasive case for the kids to live with him, not you.

    Another hot tip - it's immaterial that yours is the only name on the title deed, the mortgage or the letterbox. You were married, that means he's entitled to a just and equitable share of the property, regardless of how often he has the kids and regardless of whether his name is on the deed. The likelihood of a Court ruling that a property division of 25% to a party married for 14 years, is just and equitable is laughable.

    Don't believe me? Go get yourself some legal advice.
     
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  3. Ala

    Ala Member

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    Dear

    Thanks for the help, but just to clarify things. I don't want to send this not because I feel offended but because as a parent I have never ever opened a mouth about him and always encouraged keeping a good relationship, so for him trying to psychologically abuse the kids for revenge so he can damage my kids' relationship with me just to win more equity is a disaster.

    First he asked only for one day a week. he has never been involved in the kids' life and second, I had legal advice and was told the maximum he can get is 25 as I was paying the mortgage since we bought the house and thus 25 will be considered as non-monetary contribution!

    Thanks for the reply
     
    #3 Ala, 18 March 2018
    Last edited by a moderator: 19 March 2018
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