QLD Moving within same state!!!! No contact with Father.

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KaraEmme

Active Member
2 March 2018
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Hi please no judgment and I’m just trying to do what’s best for my family.

My ex is not on the birth certificate as he never wanted the child and hasn’t had anything to do with child since a few months old. I tried for the first few months to get him to see bub and in the end he just stopped turning up to visits. Then when I stopped trying he threatened me and our child’s life. I got really scared for our safety and got a DVO.

Now our child is going to be 1 year old soon and my new partner (who I have been with since my child’s birth) has gotten a full time job 5 hours away. He hasn’t been able to get a job in our local area and was unemployed for 10 months. He has been working away for a few months now and I’m struggling a lot. We’re wanting to move to where his job is but I’m unsure of the legal ramifications. I know that if I ask permission he will get vindictive and say no just to piss me off even though he won’t want to be involved with his child. What am I looking at legally if I do move away without consent?
 

AllForHer

Well-Known Member
23 July 2014
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If there are no parenting orders, there are no rules, so you don't need dad's permission.

If it were me?

I would just move and let dad decide if he wants to do something about it. He can try for a recovery order, but for a child under one that he's spent minimal time with and whose primary carer is you, he probably won't succeed.

Just make sure you're not the reason dad doesn't have a relationship with the kid.
 
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thatbloke

Well-Known Member
5 February 2018
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So, in reality, what you are saying, is that Dad has wanted contact with the child for half the kids life and you said no. He tried to see the kid and you got a DVO on him and now you want to move interstate to totally exclude him from the kids life. Believe it or not, that is exactly what you have just written.

He might not have wanted to have a kid but he could well have changed his mind, that is what people do sometimes in life.

Work something out where you can move and her can see the child
 

KaraEmme

Active Member
2 March 2018
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So, in reality, what you are saying, is that Dad has wanted contact with the child for half the kids life and you said no. He tried to see the kid and you got a DVO on him and now you want to move interstate to totally exclude him from the kids life. Believe it or not, that is exactly what you have just written.

He might not have wanted to have a kid but he could well have changed his mind, that is what people do sometimes in life.

Work something out where you can move and her can see the child


Ok no I didn’t say that at all. We arranged a meeting schedule and I left it up to him for how much time he wanted. We agreed on the time and places we would meet up. It worked for a few weeks and then he stopped showing up or he would show up and only stay for 20 minutes (he asked for 1 hour 3 times a week). I was texting him before hand to make sure he would be there. After a while of him not turning up and not replying to my messages to say he would be there I just told him to contact me when he wanted to see bub. Two weeks or so later he told me that I wasn’t trying to keep a relationship going between them and if I didn’t give him his son for a week long visit he would come and take him and burn my house down. I got a DVO because I was scared and didn’t know what else to do and the police can’t do anything other then talk to him until he actually does something. He didn’t even turn up to court for the DVO and the judge granted me full restrictions (I only asked for no violence to be shown around me and bub and for him to not know where I live). He was told after the DVO to take me to mediation to organise a parenting plan (which I am happy to do). I’m still waiting 7 months later. I’m not going to put in all that effort if he won’t meet me half way.
 

thatbloke

Well-Known Member
5 February 2018
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Well that is a totally different story to you opening Post and if it is true then I would be moving
 
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KaraEmme

Active Member
2 March 2018
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Well that is a totally different story to you opening Post and if it is true then I would be moving

It’s not different I just didn’t see the need to go into such fine detail about it. But thanks for your perspective on the situation.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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So why don't you call Relationships Australia? organise mediation. IF he doesn't show up - GREAT. You tried.
If he does, then I reckon you need to give the guy a chance... So with the mediators help you can sort an agreement. Based on past experience, he is unlikely to keep the agreement anyways... But at least you're offering him an opportunity to be involved with the child.
 

KaraEmme

Active Member
2 March 2018
13
0
31
So why don't you call Relationships Australia? organise mediation. IF he doesn't show up - GREAT. You tried.
If he does, then I reckon you need to give the guy a chance... So with the mediators help you can sort an agreement. Based on past experience, he is unlikely to keep the agreement anyways... But at least you're offering him an opportunity to be involved with the child.

Yes I have been thinking about it. I did ask him a few months ago if he wants to go to mediation to create a schedule. I told him that I would set it all up and all he had to do was show up. I got no reply back but he did post on social media about me aparently making his life so much harder by inconveniencing him with this. I have given up on it and I think when or if he is ever ‘ready’ he will reach out.