VIC Mother of Child Breaching Family Court Orders - What to Do?

[Leigh]

My son has equal and shared custody of his daughter, who is 8 years old. She resides with her mother.

Her mother has breached the family court orders and continues to do so. She refuses to provide her mobile number, changed their daughter's religion without discussing it, has committed numerous crimes for which she has been convicted. She also suffers from severe anxiety and panic attacks.

My son recently had a bout of depression and obtained a referral to see a psychiatrist whom he has seen twice. Somehow the mother found out about the referral and has demanded he provide a letter from the psychiatrist saying he is fit to care for his daughter. The alternative is that she and he stay at all times with me and her grandfather and that we take responsibility for her emotional, physical, and psychological care at all times.

Can she do this legally?

My son has never breached orders her despite having grounds. Unsure how to deal with this. Our son is a loving and stable father to his girl.

 

[AllForHer]

Legally, no. Unless it explicitly states accordingly, the court orders are not conditional on the father meeting her expectations by providing information about his appointments with the psychologist.

But what's the easiest, most stress-free and court-free option? Just ask the doctor for the letter and be done with it. It will literally say "The patient is in my professional opinion fit and able to care for his child/ren."

 

[sammy01]

Yep, get the letter, send it to her along with a request for her to follow the court orders in relation to phone, etc. But pick your battles. If possible, scan the letter and email it. Make sure you have evidence that you sent the letter. That is why email is best.

Just outa of interest, do you have court orders? Consent orders? Parenting plan?

What sort of access does he have with the child? One more thing - how did the ex find out about him seeing a psychologist?

So can she legally do it? Nope - but you have to work out how to play this game smart. At present, it is only a threat. Play along. If it goes to court down the track you'll have a paper trail to show that she has been completely unreasonable and despite that he has continued to try to be amicable.

 

[Leigh]

Yeah, there are court orders. He has reasonable access, every second weekend and half of school holidays. We don't know how the grandmother found out about the psychiatrist but she may have made contact with a previous girlfriend who he had told.

The mother does not communicate directly, it is all through the grandmother who lives with them. The court order says that my son is the primary carer while his daughter is in his care. This was to initially to limit our time with her but this has changed.

She has continued to offend including as recently as April. It is unclear what, as we are unable to attend court. She took out an AVO against him to prevent him attending only to drop it when the court case was over and he intended to challenge it.

Thanks for the comments . I will pass on to our son.

 

[sammy01]

So why are the orders designed to minimise your time with the child?

 

[Leigh]

They lived with us for most of the year they were together. When the relationship broke up, it was unpleasant and she assaulted me and was charged and convicted.

At that stage, she did not want us to have contact with the child so insisted that the father be the primary carer, although we were allowed to have normal grandparent time with her. She now has al least 3 convictions for assault plus several for theft, fraud and who knows what else. Most of the offences were committed after the court orders went through. My son has no convictions.

 

[Freycinet]

Her convictions only become an issue if you (or your son) want more time with the child, or if you (or you son) believe that the child may be in a dangerous situation because of her convictions.

Going on the convictions you've listed I would have thought she would have been in gaol too. What is the care arrangement in that case? Best get something about that in the orders I'd say too.

 

[Leigh]

She keeps getting community orders. My son would immediately go for custody, but the other grandmother would also want her. It is interesting that they start on him every time the mother has been in trouble.

Thanks.

 

[sammy01]

So here is hoping she gets some jail time eventually. So be aware that when that happens your son would become the default primary carer not the other grandmother. And once the ex is in jail, you could initiate court action to get him to remain as the primary carer.

Let's just wait and see for the minute. But that might be a little ray of sunshine for you guys to think about.

 

[Leigh]

Ok This is the latest.

My son provided a letter from the GP who has been treating him fortnightly for 8 years saying he is totally capable of fully caring for his daughter. They have just advised that they will not accept it, it has to be from a Psychiatrist.

My son has seen the psychiatrist twice in 3 months for medication review. He does not know him really and the Psych is not available until the 27th June. The texts are from the Grandmother but saying they are from the mother. They are demanding written confirmation from me that my granddaughter will sleep at our place and be in our care.

I think this is a beat up and unfair to our son. Also to our granddaughter who has her own room and toys at his house. My son saw a solicitor who said he should breach her, there are several grounds and if it went back to court her recent criminal history could be brought up.

School holidays start tomorrow. Do we have to sacrifice the time with her, or should we accept their rules?

Help!