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NSW Mediation and Custody of Children with Partner's Ex?

Discussion in 'Family Law Forum' started by kes, 26 April 2016.

  1. kes

    kes Member

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    If my partner does mediation and wants to organise papers to have equal time with his son, can he do that through mediation and will they take into consideration the fact that the ex has an 11-year-old stepson, 9 and 7-year-old boys from first marriage and a 3-year-old from being married to my partner and a newborn son on the way with her current partner, that she won't be able to give my 3-year-old stepson attention and support to grow and learn?

    If she doesn't agree to custody of children arrangments from mediation or doesn't attend mediation, will the matter go to family court and be decided in her absence? Also that the fact that her first husband has taken her to family court over the same thing numerous of times.
     
  2. AllForHer

    AllForHer Well-Known Member

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    I certainly hope you are not suggesting that parents with five children are incapable of parenting simply because they have five children? To the contrary, a household full of siblings, whether half or step, is often seen as the more favourable household, simply because the Court doesn't much care to split siblings up.

    To the crux of your question, yes, you can attain the desired outcome at mediation provided both parents are eager to resolve the matter amicably. However, if you're seeking 50/50, the better approach is to focus on being able to co-operate with the other parent, rather than on all of her perceived flaws. It doesn't make much sense to suggest that the child won't receive adequate support in the other household, but then only seek that the child be out of the unsupportive household for 50% of the time.

    Will the matter go to court if she doesn't attend mediation? Only if the father files an initiating application with the Court to attain parenting orders after mediation has failed. Will it be decided in her absence? Possibly, but it takes several mentions and many months to determine if a hearing should go ahead undefended, so it's highly unlikely that the order you are pursuing will be granted by the Court on a whim at first hearing.
     
  3. kes

    kes Member

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    No, I'm not suggesting that cause of the amount of kids, just the fact that my partner has proof that his son isn't getting the attention he needs and wants him for more than every second weekend for days, because her other boys go to their dads at the same time, but they also get holidays and weeks at a time with them.
     
  4. sammy01

    sammy01 Well-Known Member

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    You must try mediation before you can apply to the court. If he wants 50/50 then that is what he should communicate at mediation. If the ex doesn't agree then he should accept whatever amount of time she will agree with. But he should also as the mediators to grant him the necessary certificate so he can apply to the court.

    Look, if the ex only agrees to 1 night a fortnight and he isn't happy with that then he could accept the 1 night in the short term and apply to the court. If the ex agrees to say 4 or 5 nights a fortnight - Yes, he could still apply to court but he might wanna think it through. 5 nights a fortnight and no court case are better than 6 nights a fortnight and all the stress of court.

    He might also wanna know the rules around child support and family tax. Sometimes primary carers wanna keep access below 35% a year with the other parent because once the other parent has 35% care the primary carer loses lots of family tax etc. Makes it a blood hard hurdle to get a mediated solution.

    Methinks - Mediation such. There is an inequitable distribution of power. Better off in court.
     

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