VIC ivo matter and children

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Dor

Member
23 February 2020
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September last year I was issued with an extended 3 year IVO. The magistrate based her decision on probability as opposed to any facts or evidence. I wanted a contested hearing but was talked out of it by my solicitor. The Ex stated in court that there had been multiple breeches and statements were made to the police. The police stated that there were no statements made against me. She also claimed that she had evidence of these so called breeches. She was asked by the court to present the evidence and copies of any statements, she failed to produce anything.

On my copy of the IVO it clearly states that I did not agree to the order being made. So based upon this and the probability part, would I have any chance in getting the order revoked? I have not seen my kids in almost 2 years and each day it just kills me just that little bit more. I should also mention that the kids are also on the order.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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OH man I feel for you. You have not been given good advice. The IVO doesn't stop you seeing the kids. It just means there are some hurdles to jump through and you could have started jumping through them 2yrs ago.

Forget getting the avo revoked. Waste of time. But you can and should organise mediation with Relationships Australia to get access. It probably wont work, but it is the first step in the process. Google search mediaton services vic.
govt subsidised mediaion services divorce vic - Google Search
So let pretend you put the effort into getting the IVO revoked. You still can't see the kids without the ex agreeing and if you just picked the kids up from school you'll have the cops on your door step in no time.

So do some research about free / subsidised mediation services. Maybe, just maybe it will work and the ex will come to an agreement with you about access.
IF not?
Then it is off to court. Mate don't fret about court. In plenty of cases once the application is accepted by the court and the other parent gets a court attendance notice they s**t themselves and become a little bit more reasonable. YOu can do that much yourself without solicitors.

This site is worth a read too.
Using family dispute resolution | Victoria Legal Aid
But stay calm
 

Dor

Member
23 February 2020
4
0
1
I've been to relationship Australia, just didn't like their attitude towards me. The thing is the kids have been brainwashed into thinking I'm a bad person and have no Interest in seeing me.
I know that the ex will fight me in preventing me from seeing the kids. She is not open to mediation and neither am I, just so much bad blood.
The thing is I can send her to jail for 20 yrs. If I go down this path the kids would be made a ward of the state. Those in the know have told me to do it, but I'm just trying to be the bigger person.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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I don't believe everything I read on the internet....
You're letting your kids live with someone who should do 20 years in the big house? does that make you a good person?
 

Dor

Member
23 February 2020
4
0
1
I have spoken to the right people and spent countless hours in researching what she is facing. Not only will she be jailed for 20years, she will also be hit with a 200k fine. In short the family home will have to be sold. For the time being I must put the kids first and For Most. Although a constant battle rages within, I must think of the long term conquences of my actions.
 

GlassHalfFull

Well-Known Member
28 August 2018
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2,289
What makes you sure the children will become a ward of the state though? I don't think it would be a given, but obviously the IVO will be a problem. If you had started the court proceedings a long time ago, you could have established some time with supervision and probably moved on to no supervision by now, and then if she went to jail, you could more easily apply to the family court to make you primary carer in her absence. That's a big simplification probably, but it seems achievable to me. But to have done nothing in terms of family law in the last 2 years.... why? I don't understand that. If you haven't seen your kids in 2 years and it kills you, why did you stop at Relationships Australia? Regardless of their attitude to you, it's just a formality you have to go through to get to the family court in most cases. They have no real control over you, you just have to have attempted mediation in order to progress to the family court. It doesn't matter if you actively participate or not.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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"I've been to relationship Australia, just didn't like their attitude towards me. "

Just don't like their attitude? wow. I didn't much like their attitude to me either, but gaining access to my kids was just a little bit more important than my opinion of the nutters at Relationships Australia.

You have made stuff all attempt to seek access to your kids, of course they are gonna be easy to convince that you don't give a stuff.

Plan - Call Relationships Australia OR any other free / subsidised mediation service. OR pay a solicitor to write to the ex. IF that doesn't work, apply to court for access to the kids. The fact that you've waited nearly 2 years isn't gonna help your cause BUT if you want to see the kids then this is the road you're gonna have to take.

OR get her arrested and the kids will most likely be put into your care.
 

rjm

Well-Known Member
2 February 2020
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Do you really want your kids visiting their Mum in jail? I'd think that would damage them more than it would damage her.
They have to go to school you know, you want them bullied & teased?
Fair enough if she's murdered someone, burnt someone's house down. If not just sort your visitation out through court & move on with your life.
So many people justify their actions by pointing out what the other person has done to them first. You can't control how other people behave, only yourself. Don't lower your own standard of behaviour. It makes you no better than them.
Yes it's unfair if she's lied to get the IVO. If that's the case you should of contested it.
 

GlassHalfFull

Well-Known Member
28 August 2018
544
51
2,289
Do you really want your kids visiting their Mum in jail? I'd think that would damage them more than it would damage her.
They have to go to school you know, you want them bullied & teased?
Fair enough if she's murdered someone, burnt someone's house down. If not just sort your visitation out through court & move on with your life.
So many people justify their actions by pointing out what the other person has done to them first. You can't control how other people behave, only yourself. Don't lower your own standard of behaviour. It makes you no better than them.
Yes it's unfair if she's lied to get the IVO. If that's the case you should of contested it.

We have no idea what the mother has done (if anything), but if the OP is right and she could go to jail for 20 years, it does sound like the ballpark of murder or pretty serious arson... Agreed that it would be pretty damaging for the children though, but I doubt that's ever a factor when police decide to prosecute a serious crime.