NSW Is It Too Late to Get an AVO?

[Winter83]

Hi there,

In May 16, an ex friend who had been leaving threatening messages and voicemails on my husband's phone for six months decided to leave a voicemail threatening to come and f@#% the s#€+ out of our kids.

We went to the police but the policeman we spoke to didn't even listen to the message or ask what he exactly said. All he did was call the guy and gave him a warning and he was told to stay away. I was in shock at the time, so I went along with the cop, even though everyone was telling me that I need to go back in and insist on an AVO.

My sister is friends with a cop in another area and he was waiting for my phone call but I didn't end up doing it. This guy is a member of the same church (same church but attends on a different day) and what he said is obviously wrong and there are consequences for that sort of behaviour, so I thought I'd let them deal with it. However he cried and said he was sorry and he basically got away with it.

Now he keeps turning up at places that he knows we will be, like for instance there was a funeral at the church and not only did he come, he decided to stand at the door and eyeball us, forcing me to have to walk my kids past him. He didn't really even know the lady whose funeral it was.

Before the threat, he also pretended he was going to hit us with his car when we were crossing a car park. He sped his car towards me (at 8 months pregnant) and my kids and then stopped at the last second. Also, the night he left the message, he was at one point out the front of our house revving his car.

Seeing him makes me sick and scared and I will shake and get dizzy and I regret not taking it further. I feel like I have let my kids down. Is it too late to do anything about it?

I feel like if I apply for an AVO and fail that it will make his attitude worse.

 

[Lance]

Hi,

It's never too late for an AVO. The AVO isn't issue for the incident its issued to prevent future events or exposures. You are still quite obviously in fear that this guy will do something and you have an accumulation of things including the police report.

I assume you still have the tape recording? Gather your evidence, raise the AVO and if he tries to fight it present your evidence.

Good luck

 

[sammy01]

I kind of disagree with the comment about it never being too late to get an AVO... Look, to get an AVO you need to establish that you believe there is a real and imminent threat and the cops are gong to want to see proof. Looking at you in church doesn't cut it.

I would do nothing right now and don't respond. But if text messages begin again, or something with tangible evidence, then consider going to the cops.

Look the last thing you want is to make a complaint, ask for an AVO and have it refused - even worse if they speak to him because he will learn that he can continue to push the boundaries and get away with it.

 

[Tim W]

Perhaps the police officer you saw was a donut-munching plod,
instead of one of the the many meticulous professional investigators who do exist.
.
Consider going to a different police station and asking to speak to a Domestic Violence Liaison Officer.
Either that, or make the phone call you have already arranged.

 

[Lance]

I kind of disagree with the comment about it never being too late to get an AVO... Look, to get an AVO you need to establish that you believe there is a real and imminent threat and the cops are gong to want to see proof. Looking at you in church doesn't cut it.

I would do nothing right now and don't respond. But if text messages begin again, or something with tangible evidence, then consider going to the cops.

Look the last thing you want is to make a complaint, ask for an AVO and have it refused - even worse if they speak to him because he will learn that he can continue to push the boundaries and get away with it.

Yeah, I should really have given better context to that statement. I should have said that the incident while important to establish the grounds for the AVO is but one incident and if the threatening behaviour is ongoing then you can still apply for an AVO. I have to say I'm surprised the police didn't file the AVO when asked, because sexual threats to children are usually taken seriously.