VIC International Child Custody/Access/Order

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WilliamCAllen

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23 June 2020
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Hello everyone,

I'd like to thank you in advance for taking the time to read this, I'm going through a really tough time right now because of this situation and have been struggling to find answers.

I am an Australian citizen and my (at the time) fiancé is American. She fell pregnant in Australia and returned to the US to have him because her insurance wouldn't cover it otherwise. Our relationship started to deteriorate around the time my son was born in the US. I was present at the birth and shortly after until I had to return to Australia. She decided to call things off and now I'm left absolutely distraught about the future of my relationship with my son.

I don't want to be the type of dad who comes to visit once a year for his birthday. I plan on being in his life as much as I possibly can. I want to live for this boy and provide him with everything I can.

Now not being a US citizen or resident, what are my options in terms of enforcing a parenting/paternal order? and what are some likely outcomes?

I'll be honest, she is very stubborn and somewhat extreme at times so I don't think we could reach a mutual agreement.

Also, I don't know if this would be a contributing factor but her father is well off, could he do something like hire an expensive lawyer in order to limit my visitation rights?

There is nothing that she could say that would make me look like a bad father or human being. I do not have a criminal record. I am still financially supporting her, which I do not have a problem with. I still love her and obviously don't want her to be stressed about money while she is raising our son. Some consultation calls with lawyers who specialise in international family law are around $550/hr which I cannot afford now and that's why I am on here trying to get as much information as I can.

To add a few extra details, I am listed on his birth certificate (also shares my last name). He would also be eligible to become an Australian citizenship after he is 1 years old, if that would help.

I really appreciate those who respond. This is very complicated because we were never married and I feel like I can't find exactly what I'm looking for by searching online.

Thank you again,

W.C.A.
 

Tim W

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This post is not meant to be a silver bullet,
just some food for thought.


Kindly clarify what you mean exactly by "enforcing"?
---------------------

Citizenship

On the up side, your child is probably an Australian citizen by descent,
pretty much no matter where they were born (where they were conceived is irrelevant).
That's great for them, because it means that they can choose to leave , if they ever want to.
-> But understand that it doesn't give you any extra rights.
---------------------

Money Stuff (i)

You are probably liable for (Australian) Child Support.
Yes, even if the child is born overseas, and lives overseas.
Australia and the US have a deal that can make this happen.
Paying properly calculated Child Support is better and more certain
than just handing over random blocks of money to the other parent on demand.
Understand however, that paying Child Support does not of itself automatically create a right for you to see the child.

I can't really comment on your Child Support obligations arising under US law, if there are any.

--------------------

Money Stuff (ii)

You need to stop "financially supporting her".

You need to start orienting yourself to your obligations - which more about the child than her.
You can expect that she will link continuing payment to continuing promises of contact and visiting.

This will be difficult. And feel scary. And be a source of dispute with her. That's because it is.
But there are ways. Not least of which is a thing called Third Party Payment arrangements.
That's where you pay child-related third party bills directly (eg school fees), and have it count as Child Support,
but the money never goes through the other parent's hands. Or bank account.
You can do this from overseas (remember that in American-think, you are the one who is overseas).
It can be fiddly to set up, and does require the estranged parents to act like grown-ups.
But it can be done, especially in this age of e-commerce.

----------------

The Bottom Line - visiting and contact... and lawyers

Visiting and contact is a matter for the Family Law jurisdiction of the place where the child lives.

Getting into the US... that is all on you. You do not want to be somebody who gets to the gate only to be denied entry.
So, keep your character clean, you politics quiet, and your travel profile plausible.

->You will not find here a no-fee alternative here to what you need.
You will certainly need the case specific advice of a Family Law Australian lawyer who works in multiple jurisdictions.
That lawyer will have professional links to lawyers in the relevant jurisdiction in the US.
At risk of sounding glib, A$550 an hour is lower/mid-market for somebody "good" at this kind of stuff.

Let's be real.
You are in a difficult and complex situation.
And it ain't DIY.
But you're not the first, and not the only.

Hang in there.
 

Atticus

Well-Known Member
6 February 2019
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I agree with all of Tim W points above ....

This bit bothers me
I am still financially supporting her, which I do not have a problem with. I still love her and obviously don't want her to be stressed about money while she is raising our son
I think it would be better for you to assume that she has done a runner on you, planned or not who knows, doesn't matter... If her father is well off her & the child will be looked after if things ger tight ... Your obligation is to your child .... I would let her apply for child support in the US & use the reciprocating arrangements with Australia to pay THE ASSESSED AMOUNT ONLY ... You will need your money for legals if you are going to have any chance.... The jurisdiction will be whatever state she & child is living in the preceding 6 months before filing, or where the child was born ..

Take care of yourself, lean on family & friends for support if needed, & consider getting some professional counseling for grief management if needed .... They can offer some quite good coping tools.
 

Atticus

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6 February 2019
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Oh ... Another reason you only want to pay for Child support via the CSA & not just random amounts paid direct to her, is so that it is all on record..
 

Rob Legat - SBPL

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To add to what Atticus is saying, be aware that for Australian child support there are two payment paths: Agency collect (where you pay to CSA) or private collect (where you pay the other party directly). You don't get to choose the method - the parent collecting the child support does.

In your circumstances it will be much better to pay CSA directly if you can swing it that way. I have zero idea on the logistics of getting that done, however. But, if you can, not only do you then not have to worry about the international transfer of funds but you should also not have to worry about any claims that payment has not been made.

I also can't add much about US child support obligations and how those factor in with Australian obligations - except to say that the two systems are not the same. As I understand it, non-payment of child support in the US is much more harshly dealt with than it is here.
 

Atticus

Well-Known Member
6 February 2019
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be aware that for Australian child support there are two payment paths: Agency collect (where you pay to CSA) or private collect (where you pay the other party directly). You don't get to choose the method - the parent collecting the child support does.

In your circumstances it will be much better to pay CSA directly if you can swing it that way.
My understanding is .... If mum applies for Child support in the US, the reciprocal arrangements here mean that it must become a registered maintenance liability, & as such under the CS registration & collection act, it will have to be paid via CSA ..... @WilliamCAllen ... Don't fall for agreeing to sidestep CSA & pay direct, paying via CSA is to your advantage...It is a properly assessed amount & paid in a manner that all courts will accept as proof of support..
 
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