Hi Sammy01, (I'm glad you replied)
Yes by now you would be well aware that I am dealing with a complete nutter. We are back in court this coming Tuesday. I believe its called a directions hearing. Too date I have had the Family report arrive by email as of this week. And as damning as it is, its not all bad. Even a few things in it I didn't know about the Ex, like the fact that she was a speed junkie during her mid 20's and a previous boyfriend topped himself whilst they were together. There were a few inaccuracies as well, like the fact that our daughter spends 4 days a week in daycare...but the report says it s only 3 days (littered throughout the report). The report also said that due to some of my heated correspondence over 6 months ago there was grounds for a DVO. Which she has since carried out. Back in court for that in early July.
Ive read alot of your posts and I must say they have helped me greatly. Your comments on DVO/AVO's are very helpful, and in dealing with them, and instead of looking at it as a negative look at it as a positive. Contact is only via email and only about my daughter. Which is great. Even the police officer issuing it said to me said (as I was holding my daughter in my arms at the time), "Mate if you were looking for closure this is it, you and your little girl have a great future in front of you, so time to get on with it hey".
As for your other advice to people on here, don't sweat the small stuff, change your mindset to play the long game. This was the hardest for me at the start as I wasn't in the right head space, but now I see it all very clearly. Ive seen my local GP a few times over the months, joined Rotary International, help on community events, have increased my fitness substantially over the past 6 months, and consult with a life coach once a week. Haven't had a drink since my daughters 1st birthday (not that I was big drinker). And most of this I attribute to yourself Sammy01. I'm 100 times better off than were I was 6 months ago.
Another thing was taking the emotion out of the correspondence and just being direct. A perfect example, a fortnight ago I emailed the ex with a copy of my final orders to see if she would agree to any of the 58 orders contained inside. (This was the second time this email had been sent in the past 4 months). I got a reply back, "I will need to seek legal advice before I agree to anything"... I've left it at that, as I know deep down she will take this all the way to trial. So a week ago, I email and ask if she would be willing to give me additional visitation hours (I get 6 hours per week, 2 x 3 hour lots), the response was "I am happy with the current arrangement".
Anyways Thanks again Sammy01 for your commitment to this forum, and even if you think you haven't changed anyones life, you have changed mine.
Cheers
Migz