QLD How to word a variable parenting/consent order?

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Migz

Well-Known Member
20 November 2016
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Hi All,

Does anyone have any tips on how to word a single court order that relates to flexibility around days off or even a pick up time. Eg. My daughter is in day care on Fridays and the interim court order currently says Father (me) to pick up at 2pm from daycare. I would like this reworded somehow that says in the event that we finish work early eg.11am, that pick up is earlier/in the event we dont work at all then pick up is such n such...any advice?
 

AllForHer

Well-Known Member
23 July 2014
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Make mum's time conclude before day care and your time commence after day care. Day care finishes whenever you pick her up.
 

Migz

Well-Known Member
20 November 2016
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Thanks for the reply AllForHer. I can see where you are going with that. I just want to nail it down abit further. Wiith the following 2 scenarios. 1) We finish work earlier. Say midday. Daycare is 30 min away. So I can be there it 12.30pm. 2) Say I have Friday off or we get told to stay home on Friday. Then I can go and pick my daughter up at daycare after the mother has dropped her off before 8am generally.

This way no communication needs to take place with the ex as the order should be written in away to allow for that flexibility. And daycare shouldn't be getting involved like they have been if I arrive earlier than the current 2pm pick up.

Cheers
Migz
 

Rod

Lawyer
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27 May 2014
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www.hutchinsonlegal.com.au
Court orders the Mother to drop the child off at daycare on Fridays and the Father to pick-up the child anytime after the Mother's drop-off and before daycare finishes for the day.
 
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Migz

Well-Known Member
20 November 2016
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Awesome Rod. Thanks and thankyou AllForHer as well.

Cheers
Migz
 

sammy01

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27 September 2015
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Migz - you're dealing with a nutter? true? don't use the word anytime in Rod's suggestion... It will ring alarm bells. I bet your ex would rather the kid spend the day in child care than with you...
My version
Court orders the Mother to drop the child off at daycare on Fridays and the Father to pick-up the child before daycare finishes for the day.

My advice on writing your own orders - keep them short. Less room for confusion... Let me give you an example... My first set said the kids live with mum, spend time with me - alternate weekends / half holidays... The usual stuff... It also said OR by mutual agreement... The obvious meaning was that the times are locked in BUT we can negotiate a day or here IF we both agree... Somehow MY NUTTER managed to interpret that as that she could refuse me access when ever she wanted on the grounds that she no longer 'agreed'. So I didn't see the kids for a month and I blew another few grand on my solicitor writing to her solicitor etc etc... Lets face it 'by agreement' is never going to happen, so having it in there only confuses - The lesson - keep it simple and succinct.
 
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Migz

Well-Known Member
20 November 2016
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43
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Hi Sammy01, (I'm glad you replied)

Yes by now you would be well aware that I am dealing with a complete nutter. We are back in court this coming Tuesday. I believe its called a directions hearing. Too date I have had the Family report arrive by email as of this week. And as damning as it is, its not all bad. Even a few things in it I didn't know about the Ex, like the fact that she was a speed junkie during her mid 20's and a previous boyfriend topped himself whilst they were together. There were a few inaccuracies as well, like the fact that our daughter spends 4 days a week in daycare...but the report says it s only 3 days (littered throughout the report). The report also said that due to some of my heated correspondence over 6 months ago there was grounds for a DVO. Which she has since carried out. Back in court for that in early July.

Ive read alot of your posts and I must say they have helped me greatly. Your comments on DVO/AVO's are very helpful, and in dealing with them, and instead of looking at it as a negative look at it as a positive. Contact is only via email and only about my daughter. Which is great. Even the police officer issuing it said to me said (as I was holding my daughter in my arms at the time), "Mate if you were looking for closure this is it, you and your little girl have a great future in front of you, so time to get on with it hey".

As for your other advice to people on here, don't sweat the small stuff, change your mindset to play the long game. This was the hardest for me at the start as I wasn't in the right head space, but now I see it all very clearly. Ive seen my local GP a few times over the months, joined Rotary International, help on community events, have increased my fitness substantially over the past 6 months, and consult with a life coach once a week. Haven't had a drink since my daughters 1st birthday (not that I was big drinker). And most of this I attribute to yourself Sammy01. I'm 100 times better off than were I was 6 months ago.

Another thing was taking the emotion out of the correspondence and just being direct. A perfect example, a fortnight ago I emailed the ex with a copy of my final orders to see if she would agree to any of the 58 orders contained inside. (This was the second time this email had been sent in the past 4 months). I got a reply back, "I will need to seek legal advice before I agree to anything"... I've left it at that, as I know deep down she will take this all the way to trial. So a week ago, I email and ask if she would be willing to give me additional visitation hours (I get 6 hours per week, 2 x 3 hour lots), the response was "I am happy with the current arrangement".

Anyways Thanks again Sammy01 for your commitment to this forum, and even if you think you haven't changed anyones life, you have changed mine.

Cheers
Migz
 
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sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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gee thanks mate...
Look I've learnt from my own mistakes... and with hindsight I wish I had not argued at all... Just played along... because when you're dealing with crazy it is kinda crazy to argue with crazy...

But I think you need court orders. That will be the thing that makes it hard for her to relocate, which is a real risk with crazy people - My ex moved 6 hours away and has since moved a further 3 hours away... All good but the consent orders are the thing that mean she could not take the kids...

Your child is not yet 2???

My bet - you will be the primary carer before the kid starts big school... You will be an awesome dad - even more awesome because of the struggle you have endured just for the privilege of being a dad.

Keep us informed how you go.
cheers
eamon