NSW How to File for Divorce and Custody of Children?

[RJ1980]

My sister is married for 7 years to a PR holder and they are living in Sydney. Over the years, there were issues and complaints from the husband and my sister tried to resolve all those differences so that her marriage could be saved.

Throughout these years, whenever there was an argument, the husband would get violent - throw things around, smash stuff, but my sister somehow managed this behaviour.

They had a daughter in 2014. My sister thought that things would be better after the child, but it is not so. Recently, the husband is sleeping in different rooms and the reason he is, is that he does not have any physical or emotional connection left with my sister.

When she asked if there is no love in the relationship - why did you have a child. He says that the child was an accident.

He is an abusive person and my sister cannot take this torture further. He does not take any part in the household responsibilities or daily chores. All he says is that if my sister wants she can stay like this living in separate rooms.

He is up to something but nobody knows what his motives are.

My sister earns more than him and he controls all the finances - her salary goes in a joint account.
The child was born in Sydney and my sister is too scared that he will take the child away as the child is her only hope.

Please can you let me know what is the law for citizens filing for divorce if they were married overseas and who will get the custody of children?

 

[Lance]

If your sister is genuinely concerned for her safety or that of her child, she could speak to the police about an apprehended violence order. Have her read this link and see if it is something she needs to consider: Applying for an AVO through the Police.

This isn't something that should be considered lightly but if her husband is violent then it should be considered.

You mentioned he is planning something, so the other thing your sister should consider is, is her husband likely to try and leave the country with their daughter? Does your niece have a passport? if so I would lock it away.

If your sister is looking at separating from her husband she should speak with a lawyer and make sure parenting or consent orders are in place for her daughter.

I hope that helps.

 

[RJ1980]

Thanks Lance for your reply.

He is not violent physicaly towards my sister or my niece but he smashes things in the house when he gets angry in front of the child and my sister. And this new thing that he has started saying that he does not have any emotional attachment left.

My niece has a passport. He won't leave the country but at the same time, it won't let my sister leave too. I read somewhere that if a divorce is granted the parents have equal rights. Is that true? Is it very difficult for the mother to be the sole parent?

This is whats bothering my sister to take the first step.

It's like you live in this hell otherwise decide what you are going to do. He is playing with her emotions and forcing her to take the first step.

Please let me know your thoughts on this.

Many thanks

 

[sammy01]

So take up the offer to live separately.

She can start by getting her salary placed into her own account and agree to pay half the bills. Look, she is gonna need money. Living separately means separate finances... So once she has sorted that, she can start saving money so that if she chooses to leave she at least has some money in the bank to help set up a new house, etc.

The legal system is fair. It is slow. But it is better than living in a violent relationship. I'd actually encourage her just to leave. Take the child and get out ASAP.

 

[Lance]

Thanks Lance for your reply.

He is not violent physicaly towards my sister or my niece but he smashes things in the house when he gets angry in front of the child and my sister. And this new thing that he has started saying that he does not have any emotional attachment left.

My niece has a passport. He won't leave the country but at the same time, it won't let my sister leave too. I read somewhere that if a divorce is granted the parents have equal rights. Is that true? Is it very difficult for the mother to be the sole parent?

This is whats bothering my sister to take the first step.

It's like you live in this hell otherwise decide what you are going to do. He is playing with her emotions and forcing her to take the first step.

Please let me know your thoughts on this.

Many thanks

Hi again.

Playing with her emotions is considered emotional abuse. Also throwing things and losing control in front of someone is a display of aggression and power, usually as a display of frustration but it is also commonly used to intimidate. Just let your sister know that she doesn't need to tolerate that.

If your sister spoke to an abuse counsellor, you would likely find out that what your sister is going through is very much abuse. If she takes the first step and reports his behaviour he will very quickly find out shared parenting is only fair and equal if both parents display emotional maturity. Losing your temper is not emotional maturity. He needs to sort out his anger issues for his daughters sake.

I wish your sister luck in what ever she decides.