WA How much weight for a child’s wishes

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CaraL

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18 November 2019
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hi, 2 questions
1. I have a vro in place which was breached but considered low end as Breached by texts. However there was DV throughout relationship including the children witnessing it. I know I can by pass mediation, but would it be better to still go?

2. how much weight is given to an older child , in my case just turned 13. This child has been given many days off school in her fathers care, been given cash, been prevented from seeing her psychologist and many instances of alienating me
 

Atticus

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6 February 2019
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Need a bit of context...

So you have a DV order breach, low end... But what does that have to do with mediation? Mediation for what exactly?... Are you pursuing parenting orders? Do you already have parenting orders?
 

CaraL

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18 November 2019
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From my understanding if there has been DV you can ask to be exempt from mediation(Family dispute resolution) to discuss parenting issues. No parenting orders at all, but yes I’m wanting to get parenting orders in place.
 

Atticus

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6 February 2019
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From my understanding if there has been DV you can ask to be exempt from mediation(Family dispute resolution) to discuss parenting issues

It's up to the discretion of the mediator... depending on the seriousness of the allegations, they may find your case not suitable for mediation, they may not..

Some factors that may come into play... how long have you been separated?... Is there just the one 13 year old or other children?... How much visitation is dad currently having?
 

sammy01

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27 September 2015
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Surely you're better off coming to an agreement via mediation than forcing court and all the pain and costs involved in that
 

Atticus

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6 February 2019
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As above ^^^... Fact is, even if you get a mediator to issue you with a section 60I certificate stating your case wasn't suitable, or filed a non filing of FDR Certificate affidavitt the court judge would order mediation at the first appearance anyway

how much weight is given to an older child , in my case just turned 13

There is no particular age.... How much weight is given to the wishes of a child is dependent on the level of maturity & understanding of the issues involved.... Children are not able to give evidence directly to the court. So what would have to happen is a family consultant would need to interview the child, parents, possibly siblings & step siblings if there are any to ascertain the family dynamics along with the wishes of the child... If the child expresses a view that s/he, does not think that one or both parents are acting in her best interests, or understand their wishes, the family consultant may recommend an independent children lawyer be appointed.

Long story short... It will be a long & potentially expensive exercise & it's entirely possible that your daughter is 15 before a decision is made, & at 15 she could walk out the door & do as she pleases anyway... OR.. you could attend mediation at the outset, & both make a genuine effort to resolve whatever the issue is
 

sammy01

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27 September 2015
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Or find avenues to work with the father to improve communication / resolve issues so the kid can have a relationship with dad.
 

CaraL

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18 November 2019
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Or find avenues to work with the father to improve communication / resolve issues so the kid can have a relationship with dad.

I’ d love nothing more than to amicably work out issues. The kids have a relationship with dad. Problems lies with the fact he gives a child a huge amount of days off school and she is failing subjects. Many other issues such as leaving the kids unsupervised with a drug addicted relative of his. Even with a vro I am able to text him with child welfare concerns. He ignores them and has the personality type that goes against anything he is asked. I don’t want the costs or stress involved in court, but what options are there when children are being placed in this situation.
 

Atticus

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6 February 2019
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I’ d love nothing more than to amicably work out issues.
This seems to be at odds with your earlier thoughts below where it appears you were looking to avoid discussing the issue with dad, even with the aid of a trained independent mediator
From my understanding if there has been DV you can ask to be exempt from mediation(Family dispute resolution) to discuss parenting issues.
Look... This is not a legal issue. there are no orders that can make you work TOGETHER as parents... What you have is a teenager. You better brace yourselves because chances are the next few years are going to get worse... Even if you & dad were living together & getting along, you would probably differ on how to handle a teen...

I seriously recommend using a mediation service to discuss whatever the issues are... Have you actually invited dad along to an independent mediator?

If she is being withheld from school unnecessarily, have you spoken to the school about it?... Is she having issues there & avoiding it for those reasons?... Can a school counselor help?

You mention dad is preventing her from seeing her psychologist.... So book those appointments during your care periods...May sound harsh, but perhaps your daughters mental health issues are in part due to her parents not getting along... You also have an order restraining the two of you from properly communicating which probably doesn't help
what options are there when children are being placed in this situation.
Professional mediation... Call & make an appointment. They will talk to you about about your concerns, then call him & do the same... If they deem your case appropriate for mediation, then see how things go... Mediation is ALWAYS the starting point