NSW How Does AVO Work?

[Emmaferrato]

Morning,

My mum recently went to the police and the applied for an AVO against my dad. My dad has firearms so the police went there promptly to seize them and serve the application. She recorded the audio of the incident the day she went to the police with her phone as evidence and has a year of diary entries, documenting what she has been through, has been regularly seeing her GP and using medication to cope (antidepressants).

My dad and my brother are very much the same and both intimidate, taunt and abuse my mum - in every way but physical (that I know of), and have both made me feel very intimidated and disrespected on multiple occasions to the point where I have distanced myself and focused on my ICU nursing career - that is a huge challenge alone. BTW my mum since lives with me...

Basically, my brother and my dad have been saying that if mum goes through with this order to court or pass midday today (72hrs after the went to the police), my dad will be forced to act. They said this will effect her nursing dramatically and basically that she will regret going to the police. They have been trying to get me to talk her out of it and my brother has been using his relationship with her to try to manipulate her to withdraw her claim.

I'm wondering what they could do to my mum and if she went through with this. Would she be affected while studying nursing and getting a job? What evidence could they have to fight the recording of absolute verbal abuse and taunting mum recorded?

I cannot fault my mum, she is so amazing. She is a survivor of cancer, homeschooled me and my brother, supported my dad through numerous businesses, worked full time for 8 years, shopped and op-shops because she had no money left over after paying the mortgage etc...My dad also worked full time and enjoyed his spending and hobbies and trips to Sydney. She lost her mum in August this year after 6 months of a terminal struggle with cancer. My dad was awful to her the whole time.

Sorry to ramble. Just wanted to give a bit of background because it id a tricky position for me and I can't to support mum in making a good choice for her.

 

[sammy01]

They are idle threats and if they have been communicated via text message then you should show those messages to the cops. If they go anywhere near her employer, she should report it to the cops.

BTW - In NSW, the police apply to the courts for an AVO not your mum. See for years, the cops got sick of getting call out to DV situations only to have the victim withdraw their statements (sometimes under duress from the abuser). So they changed the law - once a complaint is lodged it won't be withdrawn.

Now AVO's can stick without the need for bruises. So don't worry about that one.

Your mum really should have stayed in the family home and your father could have been removed - but by the sounds of things this would leave her with the brother to deal with.

 

[SamanthaJay]

Your father and brother are nothing but bullies. It is all talk. Good on your mum for taking this step in changing her life for the better. I know it will continue to be incredibly hard for her (and you by the sound of it) but hopefully the violence order will deter your father and brother. And if they breach it, there will be consequences for them.

Has your mum's GP referred her for counselling? Or a domestic violence organisation?

My life was similar (minus the cancer thank god) and I never thought I'd ever be able to break free. But I did. I still fear the repercussions 18 months after I left, after all, I had it put in my head for 30 years, but my life is so different now. Back then I couldn't even imagine living with the freedom that I do now.

I'm also coming to what I hope is the end of financial settlement negotiations with him. I was lucky to find a solicitor that is happy to accept payment when settlement occurs. I thought I'd end up penniless after working very hard for 30 years but with the help of counselling, I was able to put the fear behind me and fight for what is mine.

My ex also has guns but he is unlicensed and hides them on the farm.

 

[Emmaferrato]

They are idle threats and if they have been communicated via text message then you should show those messages to the cops. IF they go anywhere near her employer she should report it to the cops.

BTW - In NSW the police apply to th ecourts for an AVO not your mum. See for years the cops got sick of getting call out to DV situations only to have the victim withdraw their statements (sometimes under duress from the abuser). So they changed the law - once a complaint is lodged it won't be withdrawn.

Now AVO's can stick without the need for bruises. So don't worry about that one.

Your mum really should have stayed in the family home and your father could have been removed - but by the sounds of things this would leave her with the brother to deal with.

Hey Sammy, thank you, I thought it would be idle threats, they are awful.

I am 25 years old, have a mortgage - on my own, saved $20000 deposit, and work full time 12 hrs shifts at the hospital. It's honestly exhausting. My brother and my dad both work for themselves. Mum has been regularly seeing her DV support group for the last few months and has a referral to a psychologist but does have the $65 consult fee. I told her I would pay it and to make an appointment ASAP to check in an help her thought patterns now she has made the AVO. She needs to know she has rights and not question her decision because it was the last resort and she had no choice. I support her.

Is there any other help you can give me to pass on to her?

Thanks again for your time.

 

[Emmaferrato]

Your father and brother are nothing but bullies. It is all talk. Good on your mum for taking this step in changing her life for the better. I know it will continue to be incredibly hard for her (and you by the sound of it) but hopefully the violence order will deter your father and brother. And if they breach it, there will be consequences for them.

Has your mum's GP referred her for counselling? Or a domestic violence organisation?

My life was similar (minus the cancer thank god) and I never thought I'd ever be able to break free. But I did. I still fear the repercussions 18 months after I left, after all, I had it put in my head for 30 years, but my life is so different now. Back then I couldn't even imagine living with the freedom that I do now. I'm also coming to what I hope is the end of financial settlement negotiations with him. I was lucky to find a solicitor that is happy to accept payment when settlement occurs. I thought I'd end up penniless after working very hard for 30 years but with the help of counselling, I was able to put the fear behind me and fight for what is mine.

My ex also has guns but he is unlicensed and hides them on the farm.

Hey Samantha, thank you so much for your reply. Well done for our decision and strength. It's time to break the chain of violence against women. So you are glad you did what you did? Did you have to provide any evidence in court?

Is there any other help you can give me to pass on to her?

Thank you again for your time.

 

[SamanthaJay]

Hey Samantha, thank you so much for your reply. Well done for our decision and strength. It's time to break the chain of violence against women. So you are glad you did what you did? Did you have to provide any evidence in court?

Is there any other help you can give me to pass on to her?

Thank you again for your time.

Hi Emma,

I haven't actually been to court as yet, although have a court date for August next year. They book them a good year in advance!

We have had mediation and conciliation conferences so far.

Of course, he is completely denying any allegations of domestic violence and went as far as saying that I was the one that was 'volatile' and instigated acts of violence. My solicitor told me that we should not pull evidence together (ie affidavits from family, subpoena records from psychologist, medical records, police and domestic violence services) until it looks like going to court although I did bring it up in my affidavits. Reason being, because all this costs money.

But when we attended the conciliation conference, the Registrar pretty much dismissed my claims of DV because we did not have all that evidence ready.

He was a vile husband and father (at times) and our eldest child is adamant if it proceeds to court then she will be providing an affidavit regarding his abuse over her lifetime.

Sounds like your mum is doing the right thing and has some guidance.

Just one other thing re the psychologist - does your mum know that she is most likely to have this funded (6 visits to start with) via Medicare? She needs to go to her doctor and discuss a mental health plan.