QLD Help with Wording of Family Court Orders?

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Thefactsonly

Well-Known Member
30 January 2017
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Hello

After some help for wording of family court orders stipulating children's time with parents, specifically around school holiday breaks. Also anything you might have left out of your orders that in hindsight you would have liked included?

Three children, youngest 8, oldest 13 (refusing currently to spend time with one parent). Both parents wanting set orders to alleviate future issues.

Really appreciate your reply!
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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2,894
Define when the holidays start. Or refer to a specific site perhaps the QLD dept education site. Why? Do the holidays start on the Friday (if that is the last day of term)? The Saturday? if Friday is the last day of term? The Monday after the weekend if school breaks up on a Friday. Same when do they end? What if there is a student free day? Technically not a school holiday, but a day where kids don't go to school.

My ex thought it a great laugh to change it depending on circumstances. I'm a teacher. So the ex's favourite game when it was my turn to have the kids in the first half of the holidays was to tell me that the holidays started on the Friday morning - last day of term, which was a student free day and obviously my work commitments meant I had to get a baby sitter...

But if it was her turn to have the first week of holidays, the holidays started on the Monday after school broke up and the holidays finished on the Friday before school goes back, not the Saturday. The end result was always that the theory of 50/50 during holidays resulted in her having 2-4 nights more than me...

My sensible argument that given she had more time than me during the school term, hence, if anyone should have more time in the holidays it should be me didn't seem to resonate with her desire to keep the kids away from me as much as possible. And it just made for some nasty stress and arguments (most of which I lost - but not because I was wrong...)

Make sure orders don't contradict. Especially around Christmas for example. My suggestion if the other parent agrees... Suck it up. Miss the kids every second year. I've done both... Alternate years I had them Christmas even until noon Christmas day... I hated it.

Packing the kids up half way through the day, with presents and toys all over the place that won't be played with sucked.... These days we split the long break in half. Every even year Christmas is a quiet day with my partner, her brother, and our parents, no kids... But then every odd year is a big family affair with all the kids.

Final thought - even with orders there is always gonna be potential issues. So half holidays? What happens if there is a long weekend tagged on? What if there are 13 nights? Can't divide that in half... So you could send yourself crazy trying to write orders that articulate every eventuality and you'll send yourself mad AND in doing so one order is likely to contradict another. Common sense - My suggestion, if you're the primary carer, give a little. (don't be like my ex).
 
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GlassHalfFull

Well-Known Member
28 August 2018
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Miss the kids every second year. I've done both... Alternate years I had them Christmas even until noon Christmas day... I hated it. Packing the kids up half way through the day, with presents and toys all over the place that won't be played with sucked....

Yeah, having to try to divide Christmas day in half would be tough, but could you have done Boxing Day instead? I know a lot of separated families do one celebration on Christmas Day and the other on Boxing Day. But I guess it only works if the rest of your extended family is willing to go along with that too. It obviously can get pretty complicated and of course not everyone is going to be able to see everyone, which is the main point of Christmas.
 

miguel

Well-Known Member
30 May 2018
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My kids live with mum most of the time so I conceded they'd be better off waking up at mums. For the past 2 years we've celebrated our Christmas on boxing day, they very much look forward to it, it's a great day. At court (when deliberating) I used this concession to gain an advantage in another area more important to me.

If I did it over again I'd insert a first choice of carer if the primary carer wasn't available. For e.g. if mum's doing exams and can't care for the kids they are opted to me prior to grandma. Sammy knows the correct terminology.

For holidays;

During school holidays
3.1 Orders 2.1 and 2.2 are suspended
3.2 For the first half of the school holidays at the end of Terms 1, 2 & 3 from after
school on the last day of term until 6 pm in the second Saturday after the end of term in even numbered years.
3.3 For the second half of the holidays at the end of Terms 1, 2 and 3 commencing at 5
pm on the second Saturday after the end of Term until 6 pm for those years ending in odd numbers.

I won't post end of term 4 as it'd be easy to identify me and you should carefully consider your circumstances.