VIC Forced to leave home

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18 August 2018
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i am need to remove myself from the family home after 30years of marriage.
My husband is a person with quadriplegia and a Brain injury.
My husband has 24/7 care due to his disability. His injury happened 8 years ago.
Over the years my husband has been sexually inappropriate with care workers on numerous occasions. I thought it was due to his brain injury- which is why I somewhat tolerated the behaviour. There has just been another incident- which is when I was informed that it is a physiological problem- nothing to do with his brain.
I told everyone involved, which is a lot of medical people, insurance company and the care agency and my husband, that this problem could be easily resolved if he only had male care workers.
The Neuropsychologist has advised that he has the capacity to make decisions for himself regardless of whether they are good or bad decisions.
My husband refuses to have male care workers and the care agency is ok sending females here to be harassed. I was also informed that my husband is the one that is liable. Which also puts me at risk.
I can no longer be part of this situation and I need to remove myself from the family home.
How is it possible for this to be ok?
And is there anything legally for me to do???
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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A conversation with a solicitor is a good start. Or have a chat with someone at a community centre.
The real problem is gonna be dividing assets. If you're happy to walk away with just your personal items that is easy. But if there are assets that need dividing that is a whole other story and proper legal advice is gonna be necessary.

Are you completely financially independant of him?
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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I am very sympathetic to your situation. But you started your post by saying you need to leave the family home. The nice folk here can give some opinions / advice on family law. But I don't think there are folk here who can advise you. I think part of your problem is a lack of males care workers. 20 years ago I worked for an organisation that provided accommodation to disabled adults. I was the only male employee. Sadly, I don't think much has changed in the last 20 yrs. But like I said, this is a law forum and if you're not looking at leaving your husband, i don't think there is much advice that can be given to help as this is a family law forum.

Again, sorry for your situation. I hope someone can offer better advice than what I've given?
 
18 August 2018
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If my husband was not disabled, no one would question that his behaviour is bad and it would not be tolerated.
But because he is disabled- he gets a free pass.
Even though the behaviour has nothing to do with the disability.
 

Rod

Lawyer
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27 May 2014
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over the years my husband has been sexually inappropriate with care workers on numerous occasions. I thought it was due to his brain injury

It most likely is,

Many men (and women) have inappropriate thoughts but do not act on them. There are certain diseases and injuries that remove the filters that we are trained to use before we act or speak.

So while he may have capacity to make decisions it seems likely his filters no longer work correctly.
 
18 August 2018
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No you are incorrect, he has not damaged that part of the brain. As advised by the neurologist.
And to be honest, it is him I am trying to protect. He has a 50% batting average when it comes to care workers. In the last 5 years I have had to remove 2 ladies from working here as they were also being inappropriate with him.
 

Rod

Lawyer
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27 May 2014
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With all due respect to the medical professionals who know far more than I do about how the brain operates, I have seen and observed behaviour that was not previously present before illness and medication changed the person and I'm not convinced the medical people were aware of these changes in behaviour, though I do note one said it was a possibility. When they are not with the person most of the time they do not know what is normal behaviour for a person.

But anyway, back to your issue - the care company should be advised in writing of your concerns, then beyond that there is not much you can do. Though with quadriplegia I'm not sure there is much risk to the care workers.