QLD Father Refusing to Return Child - What to Do?

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Mum91

Active Member
7 February 2017
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31
Hello.

I am wanting to move from Townsville to Brisbane with my toddler but I am afraid that my toddlers father will apply for a recovery order.

We don't have any orders signed but I was following an unsigned parenting plan which allowed me to move to Brisbane three weeks prior to Christmas and came back to Townsville (following the parenting plan) so my toddler could spend three weeks with the father over the Christmas holiday period. He refused to give my toddler back for 17 days after the time allowed. He allowed my toddler to call me twice, eight days apart from each phone call.

I sought out a solicitor who had helped me get my child back. But now its been two months with no progress. No agreements have been made. No orders have been suggested on his behalf. I've suggested my request for a consent order but then decided I do want to relocate for better job opportunities for financial stability.

I've always been on Centrelink, I've been applying for jobs in Tsv for over four years but nothing. Went to Bne for under three weeks and two job interviews and had a traineeship waiting for me. I am sleeping on the floor at my dad's house because it was suggested that I do not leave Tsv and I refuse to apply for a place here and commit to another lease when I want to be applying for places in Bne

I've never kept my toddler away from her father, I've always forced him to spend time with our child even though we were not together.

I've been calling family law advise lines, family dispute resolution centres and other community facilities that help with this, but I'm hoping someone that reads this has been through something similar and can help me.

Should I just leave with my child or wait and apply for a relocation order? If I did go and have my child in daycare and swimming lessons like previously planned, would that be able to counter the recovery order?
 

MartyK

Well-Known Member
4 June 2016
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794
Are you still engaging the services of the solicitor? Is the father spending any time with the child? Have you attended mediation?
 

Mum91

Active Member
7 February 2017
7
0
31
Yes I am still engaging services with my solicitor but they are very busy so nothing much is progressing.

My solicitor only contacts me when she hears from my child's fathers solicitor asking for some time over the weekend.

Haven't attended mediation but have heard that if I leave (to get established eg. sign a lease, attend child care, swimming lesson etc) we could have over the phone mediation
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
5,152
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2,894
So solicitor has told you not to move? True? Don't move.

Sack the solicitor - save yourself some money and do mediation through one of the free services like Relationships Australia. If you want to move then move - but realise dad could make a court application and you could be forced back... You might not be forced back, but no one here can tell you which way a magistrate will order.
 

MartyK

Well-Known Member
4 June 2016
419
61
794
Yes I am still engaging services with my solicitor but they are very busy so nothing much is progressing.

My solicitor only contacts me when she hears from my child's fathers solicitor asking for some time over the weekend.

Haven't attended mediation but have heard that if I leave (to get established eg. sign a lease, attend child care, swimming lesson etc) we could have over the phone mediation

Relocation cases, involving any significant distance, are by far one of the most difficult types of cases the Courts need to determine (if the matter goes to Court). Especially in circumstances where there is an existing relationship with the other parent.

You should definitely discuss your desire to relocate with your solicitor before moving and my advice would be to follow your solicitors advice on how you should go about this. They know your current circumstances far better than anyone here does and have the benefit of the more recent history.

In regards to relocation and Court in general. You asked about it in your other thread.

While you do not need to show compelling reasons per se, the Court will follow the usual legislate pathway (as for non relocation parenting matters) when considering the competing proposals (of you and the father), and the Court will also need to be satisfied that the relocation is in the best interests of the child. The latter being the paramount consideration.

Better employment opportunities, family, new partner, even parent happiness (recently) are some of the factors which have been taken into consideration to grant a relocation. It certainly will help too if you (your lawyer) can present your facts to the Court by way of a very good 'story'.
 

Mum91

Active Member
7 February 2017
7
0
31
I really appreciate your comments, guys.

I know we will not come to an agreement through mediation so a relocation order needs to be filed? Correct?

I heard this could be a long process? Both mediation and the relocation order?
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
5,152
720
2,894
OK, so I have some issues... Sorry gonna be blunt - you wrote "he refused to give my toddler back for 17 days after the time allowed", and you also said that you've never kept the child away from dad. Well, guess what - that is exactly what you're proposing, isn't it?

When you say time allowed - you mean the time allowed by you... so what reason do you have to think that somehow you have greater authority over this child than dad?

Anyways I have some solutions:

1- Tell dad you're leaving and he can have the kid if he wants... He might say you can take the child because he doesn't want the responsibility full time.

2- Leave the child with dad.

3 - Listen hard to what your solicitor is saying. I'm willing to bet they're telling you that this thing is gonna cost thousands - nope- tens of thousands of dollars if you wanna take it to court.. Do you have that sorta money?

4 - You could just move - take the kid. See if dad makes an application for the child to be returned. This is a very bad idea.

Oh, and what happens if the dad just picks up the child and returns to Townsville? Why shouldn't he? After all, he is the father of the child.... See why it is a very bad idea?
 

MartyK

Well-Known Member
4 June 2016
419
61
794
I really appreciate your comments, guys.

I know we will not come to an agreement through mediation so a relocation order needs to be filed? Correct?

I heard this could be a long process? Both mediation and the relocation order?

To answer your questions Mum91.

Yes, if mediation does not work, then an application would need to be made to the Court seeking orders for relocation.

Court proceedings in general, even without a relocation being sought, can take many months to years to finalise. The complexity of the matter, general delays of the Court (due to number of cases being heard and resourcing issues) but also the parents willingness, and ability, to negotiate out of Court agreements (while the matter is running) can all be factors in this.

Mediation can take weeks to months to arrange. It will depend on the availability of the service at the time.

If you are serious about seeking to relocate with the child, however, it is better to go through the appropriate channels.

As I said, speak to your lawyer.

They are the ones who will be able to provide you with a far better insight into the circumstances of your own situation and are also the ones with the experience and qualifications to provide you with more sound and case specific advice.

Some relocations are granted by the Courts, others are not. Good and personalised legal advice is important with such matters. Good luck
 

MartyK

Well-Known Member
4 June 2016
419
61
794
Just combining your questions from the other thread.

Mum91 said:
Just wondering how to write a relocation order?

General example. There can of course be variations to the wording.

That from the date of these orders (or specified date) that the mother and (child's name) be permitted to relocate from (point A) to (point B)

Mum91 said:
How should I format it and what to write in it?

Your lawyer will be able to do this for you.

Mum91 said:
Do I include suggestions about how the other parent will see our child?

Yes. You will need to include some form of proposal as to how, and when, the child will be able to spend time and communicate with the other parent as to maintain this relationship, if the relocation is granted.
 

Mum91

Active Member
7 February 2017
7
0
31
Sammy01

I had previously stated that we were following an unsigned parenting plan that I was following.

Also, I notice you write in everyone's thread about the cost, I'm unemployed (reason for wanting to move. Where I am has a very high unemployment rate and there are hardly any jobs available) and am not paying for a lawyer.

Time allowed? Yes by me because he was never around until I stopped breastfeeding my child at the age of 2! My child is now two and a half.

He's never helped me in anyway for our child. We didn't live together, my child was always with me. I did everything on my own. Those 17 days were the first time my child has been away from me and she is now traumatized and having behavioural issues over it.

Thank you MartyK.