I just want to first thank all the members of this community, which is such a godsend in such an awful process.
I wanted to share our story and maybe give someone out there some hope that things can work out. I'll keep it brief, and vague for privacy.
In a nutshell, my partner's ex denied access post separation due to vague concerns about my partner's alcohol use. He did a CDT test and was then granted about 4 hours/week access. He tried to negotiate a parenting plan with a gradual step-up towards more time per week, but the ex denied this for essentially no reason and said "at some point" he would get more time. This is the point we knew we had two options: assume that "some day" the ex would grant more time to him, or start court proceedings.
My partner proposed an FDR; nothing was achieved. With the FDR certificate, he then submitted an initiating application and we got a court date. An independent children's lawyer (ICL) was appointed.
Very long story short, after considering my partner's affidavit and associated evidence, and his ex's affidavit and associated evidence, the ICL essentially gave my partner everything he wanted in his proposed orders (a modest amount of time, respectful of the fact the child is a toddler - we're talking weekday afternoons and one day on the weekend). I note that this is despite the ex alleging horrible things and risk of child abuse in the affidavit - but she had no evidence apart from assertions, and for a lot of it, we had counter-evidence to prove she was lying. From first court date to the ICL's decision was about three months.
The process isn't over as we still need to negotiate how time gets stepped up, various things like holidays BUT in the end we are both so relieved we initiated the court case. Things have really happened pretty quick since then. And we did it all as self-reps (the ex has lawyers).
A quote that I like is "no lawyer is more eloquent than the heart". As a self-rep, you are speaking for yourself, not "my client" as they always say.
Good luck to everyone on here fighting the good fight in Family Law. Our story isn't over yet, but the future is SO much brighter. I hope this has given someone out there some hope to keep going!
I wanted to share our story and maybe give someone out there some hope that things can work out. I'll keep it brief, and vague for privacy.
In a nutshell, my partner's ex denied access post separation due to vague concerns about my partner's alcohol use. He did a CDT test and was then granted about 4 hours/week access. He tried to negotiate a parenting plan with a gradual step-up towards more time per week, but the ex denied this for essentially no reason and said "at some point" he would get more time. This is the point we knew we had two options: assume that "some day" the ex would grant more time to him, or start court proceedings.
My partner proposed an FDR; nothing was achieved. With the FDR certificate, he then submitted an initiating application and we got a court date. An independent children's lawyer (ICL) was appointed.
Very long story short, after considering my partner's affidavit and associated evidence, and his ex's affidavit and associated evidence, the ICL essentially gave my partner everything he wanted in his proposed orders (a modest amount of time, respectful of the fact the child is a toddler - we're talking weekday afternoons and one day on the weekend). I note that this is despite the ex alleging horrible things and risk of child abuse in the affidavit - but she had no evidence apart from assertions, and for a lot of it, we had counter-evidence to prove she was lying. From first court date to the ICL's decision was about three months.
The process isn't over as we still need to negotiate how time gets stepped up, various things like holidays BUT in the end we are both so relieved we initiated the court case. Things have really happened pretty quick since then. And we did it all as self-reps (the ex has lawyers).
A quote that I like is "no lawyer is more eloquent than the heart". As a self-rep, you are speaking for yourself, not "my client" as they always say.
Good luck to everyone on here fighting the good fight in Family Law. Our story isn't over yet, but the future is SO much brighter. I hope this has given someone out there some hope to keep going!