WA Family Court - What to Do Against Vindictive Ex?

[S66]

Hi everyone,

I have a very spiteful ex-wife who has used the system to the extent that it should be made into a movie.

A brief background:

I married 16 years ago, with 4 kids - 2 girls 14 and 12, a boy 9 and another girl 4. We sold the family home end of 2014 and the money was put into our joint account just over 800k. Then we were renting until I was given a VRO back in March on our 16th anniversary.(kids are on the VRO too).

2 days before the VRO, I found 30k missing from the accounts to her parents and also that she had transferred all the funds over the net to an account in her name only and now the balance was 580k and that she had bought her parents a car through the company with our joint funds. I found out later that the 30k was paid back.

I was working from a home office and she would do the book work for our company about 2 to 3 hours per week the company was reliant on the internet for business. (real estate) With no net for 11 weeks or office equipment and a really hard sales market, the business was in trouble. So by the end of June, I fell on my sword and agreed to a financial and property settlement that she made that just would have allowed me to purchase a business and support my kids and move forward.

Within the next two weeks, I had closed my company ( she was a director to but I found out that she resigned the same week I was VRO'd) and had the contracts done for the new one. Then my company was off the web. I was waiting for the funds so I could settle the new business and get back to work.

At this stage, I had only seen my kids for one 2 hour visit with their god mother in tow.

My lawyer receives a letter from her saying he's not working anymore so I want more money. She was well aware about the new business purchase.I was already broke by now. Her next call was to CSA and told them I had my company and was hiding moey in it. CSA without my knowlage put CS upto $1,200 a month. (still fighting that too.)

A couple of months later early September we are of to the family court about the kids they had my affidavits for 8 weeks now. She turns up to court with nothing ready and a legal aide lawyer. They said they had no time to prepare for the family court so the judge went by the VRO and put me on a Wednesday 30 min phone call on speaker so she could hang up if I said anything wrong, 8 fortnightly 3 hour visits with my kids supervised at $90 an hour plus the ex said I was a meth head, alco and pot head so I was ordered within 48 hours to go for a drug test.

So I went and did 2 of them a week apart. All clear by the way other than some painkillers for a head ache with codeine in them (came up as opiats) that was explained on page 2 of the test.

She didn't even get a slap on the wrist for not being ready and the judge believed everything from her side, all the violence and crap. I didn't even get to have a say my lawyer couldn't believe it. The manipulation of the system was perfect.

End of September, off to the magistrates court to fight the VRO. Now she even said in the transcript of when she got the VRO in the first place that I was never violent! She turns up with a "barrister". It took 2 full days to hear and we only went back last Tuesday for the result.

Now I had a minor breach for texting her about the kids and asking her to release the funds for the new business so I can look after our children out of complete desperation and she had me arrested for that.(suspended sentence and $500 fine)

My older 2 girls didn't come to 2 of the visits between the court dates they told me they had friends over. She was on the stand the first day and did she have some made up crap. Everything from me throwing chairs, threatening to kill her and her parents, beat the kids and even wet the bed after I would drink 2 bottles of bourbon when I was lying with the kids when she was out. There were texts from my daughters to her saying "we are frightened of Daddy at 10pm and 9.30pm at night."

They are normally asleep by 8.30 9.00. Even a letter from my 12-year-old in 3 different kinds of hand writing with words she would have never used. I was even accused of sending a picture of my dick to a mate in front of my 14-year-old. "The older girls don't go to the visits because they are frightened of you." They have been to everyone since.

She even had one of her girlfriends as a witness say some just horrible bull s**t that never happened. The crap I was accused of was just unbelievable. (I would have locked myself up if I was anything like what they said). I couldn't believe what I was hearing from this woman I was married to for 16 years. She said she was 100% carer for the kids, I worked from home with them 24/7 I was always there for them.

Then a month later, it was my turn on the stand. Well was I ripped into by the barrister. I kept my cool and thought 'don't tell any lies and I didn't'. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't and I would have faith in the system to see the truth for what it really is because I was told that the magistrates see this all the time and they know when the crap is being thrown around.

Well even though I proved that she lied on so many occasions about so many different things.
Caught them out with stupid stuff the drug test, they didn't have page 2 or the other one I did so now I was on cocaine. Asking the kids where they had moved to while the supervisor was there. I had a letter from them saying I never did.I was still being investigated for breaches to the VRO by the police. It just went on and on.

So at the end of all this, I was just numb. Last Tuesday, at the verdict, the magistrate believed her side. If I could only afford a barrister and lie through my teeth, so she stays on the VRO till March 2018 but I got the kids off it.

So I thought 'OK keep your head down or she will try to have you arrested again, as she has tried on 3 other occasions'. But at least the kids are off it now.

Was I so wrong! She went straight from court and filled out her affidavits for the family court that's in February. Going through it all and reading the lies and twisted truths I find a Form 4 Notice of Child Abuse Family Violence (or Risk) it has 101 incidents that she and her lawyers have put in it and its all crap.

How the hell do you fight this stuff?

She got to keep the VRO on her because of hearsay and now she's going to use the VRO to keep my kids from me still. In her affidavit to the family court, she wants 100% parental responsibility, me to see the kids under what is in place now (3 hours a fortnight and a 30 min call on Wednesdays) and even drug tests within 48 hours of when she tells me too. Go to drug and alcohol and anger therapy.

So still no real contact with my kids. My kids are all over me like a rash and are always asking to come home with me even in front of the supervisor.

Can’t believe the court system and how a woman can steal all your money and cover it up with a VRO and then play the system with lies and manipulation. My 4 young kids are pawns and weapons used to try to drive me to suicide I’m sure this is her hope to cover up what she did. (gave over $600k to her parents and brother over the marriage there is also another 100k missing from the bank account now she paid all her bond and 6months rent in advance car insurance removalists you name it).

I was put in a position in November by her where I had to settle the financial side so I could survive and purchase the new business. (I had to borrow 30k from my parents to carry on from June it was their life savings). I've tried to get onto center link but because I had my own business that's been a nightmare.

My doctor gave me a medical certificate, so I didn't need to find work for 3 months while I was going through this and waiting for the funds for the new business.so she used that against me as well saying I'm suffering depression and anxiety and shouldn't be near the children.

We have a case management assessment meeting in January a week after my 8th supervised visit.
I of course will have to pay for a report saying I'm OK from the supervisors. Then to the family court in early February to fight for my kids.

I was told that her father and her had been planning this for years (and of course he is always sitting in the back of the court with a grin on his face)when I said to them no more money the teller machine is broken. She poisoned all our friends against me because of all the time they were plotting. Even the god parents of our kids won't talk to me as they all believe what she has said.

I cannot believe the lies and the twisted half truths that she can say and get away with it, how do you defend against it? What can I do to get my kids back?

Can someone please help or have any ideas on what I can do.I'm feel just so beaten up.

Thank you

 

[Lance]

Hi,

Wow, you sound like you have been really beaten up. I'm really sorry you are going through this and yes it sounds like it was planned for a long time.

First of all, if I could suggest you get in touch with your GP for counselling and they may well have some very useful strategies. Get as much evidence as you can that the joint money was moved. She shouldn't be able to move joint monies by herself, regardless you need to trace those transactions. You are entitled to access money for legal representation from a Barrister in the same way your ex has.

If you feel intimidated or threatened by your ex's father you could consider taking an order out against him to keep him out of court. All I can suggest is you need strong legal representation.

I'm so sorry you are going through such a hard time at this time of the year and I wish I had something more to help, but your ex has received some strong legal advice because everything you have been through seems very well staged.

All I can suggest is you need really good legal representation.

 

[Rod]

You might want to consider civil charges against her if she has moved company money without authorisation and ask your lawyer if there are grounds for a perjury charge/s. Private prosecution is possible if police ignore you

And you can consider defamation if she is telling other people you are on drugs and you are not.

 

[S66]

Hi Lance, thanks for your reply.

Yes, very well staged found out; they had been planning this for years.

I worked and looked after the kids oblivious to it all. Yes, we had some dramas but that was always about the money she was giving then or finding out that she didn't do what she said she had. We had one big argument on the 19th of Feb. A week later, her father lost a supreme court case and then 3 weeks later I was turfed out.

The drama is that she drove me into a position where I didn't have a choice other than to settle the financial side. I had to make sure I got enough cash to purchase the new business. I owe my parents their life savings 30k.

Her parents went broke a few years ago and they're in their mid 60's, so no chance of getting anything back from them anyway.

She tricked me into a lot of things along the way. She always promised I could see the kids from day 1 but it took 3 months before I got to see them for 2 hours. Let's just say we were or I was good friends with one of the big lawyers over here, our boys are great mates.

He told me he was friends with both of us and wouldn't take sides, never heard from him again but I did see his name mentioned on one of her legal letters.

Just feel like I was played all the way along. With the kids. With the money. With the system. By the lawyers (she gave a guarantee to my lawyer that she wouldn't touch the money in the account other than rent, and from then to now, about 100k has gone).

My lawyers said well we were trying to get to court to freeze the account but she kept asking for mediation and then changed her mind. I have financial court this week because our last agreement hasn't been finalized yet from the beginning of November.

Number 4, she changed her mind at the last minuet on them, that just destroyed me financially. I asked them on several times to freeze it and the words were, she has given a guarantee she won't use it. I owe the lawyers about 40k now. Already paid about 30k.

For me, it's about the kids, how do I get them away from that deceitful influence?

Would it pay me to get the kids an independent lawyer for instance? Could that help? What about the appointing someone as a shrink or?

She has done that child abuse form with the family court for February and she has come up with over 100 examples of me being an abuser. Just gut wrenching and only 2 of them are kind of right but twisted out of proportion. How do you defend against that? It even reads well (like a horror movie). I can assure you if I was anyway like what she has said I would lock myself away.

What can I do, every second weekend I have my kids and especially my 2 little ones are crying and asking to come with me. Breaks my heart every time. How can someone be so nasty?

I think the only thing that I haven't been accused of is being a child molester; that's how horrible the accusations are. What can I do to combat this rotten system? How the hell do I prove I didn't do any of what she is saying?

Am I just stuffed and should just walk away?

I'm sure her and her father are trying to drive me to suicide.

 

[S66]

Hi Rod thanks for your reply,

The issue with civil charges is that she would more than likely play the system too. When I went to the police and gave them all the evidence of the accounts and even the transfer papers her father signed when she bought him the car through the company.

The police told me yes, it is fraud, however, she was a company director and she would just say I got Dad to sign it for me. So no help from anyone. As for the deformation, no one believes me now, how is that going to help?

Should I get an independent lawyer for the kids, would that help?

She took the oldest 3 to a shrink (because we were a little frightened when Mummy and Daddy were fighting, she got to keep the kids from me, all on her say). Should I ask for someone independent from the court?

How do you find a good lawyer in WA?

 

[sammy01]

The courts will appoint an ICL if they feel it necessary. They probably will. Mate you just have to keep applying pressure to your solicitor to get interim hearing and final court hearing if necessary.

 

[Rod]

re: Company. Being a director does not automatically entitle the director to move money or make unauthorised loans. You can start your own civil case and don't need police for that. Also report her to ASIC.

re: Police. Keep trying to get them to investigate. Escalate to a senior sergeant if possible.

re: Defamation. The easy one here is drug taking. Get medical tests showing no drug use now or in the past. And remember that in defamation all you need to prove is that defamatory statements were made. She has to successfully defend against them or she loses.

re: Kids. Get an interim order. Say you want 100% custody and she can have visitation. If you start with 50/50 you are likely to get something less. Also consider that someone who commits fraud may not be a suitable parent. Start playing hard ball back.

You need to start giving her grief and show you are no pushover else you will continue to get walked over.

Pull her story apart piece by piece and keep referring back to errors in her story to give yours more credibility.

 

[S66]

Hi Sammy, can I demand an ICL and also a court appointed psychologist or is that something you get no say in?

Went to court back in September about the kids. She had 8 weeks to file her papers but didn't, so the judge went with what her side said because of the VRO and I ended up with having to do a drug test (the court was told I was a meth head) and a call on speaker every Wednesday for 30min and having 8 supervised 3 hour visits every second weekend, they finish in the first week of Jan.

Then we have a case management assessment on the 10th of Jan then off to court about the kids again on the 10th of Feb.

 

[S66]

Hi Rod, I went to a commercial lawyer about the fraud and was told ASIC won't care about any of it as you are not a Clive Palmer. Been to the police twice now with a written statement and was told they won't do anything as it was a husband and wife that were directors and she will say she just asked her father to pick up the car and sign for it and I was aware of it.

I asked the lawyers about asking for 100% of the kids and was told that will never happen so the lawyer said ask for 6 nights a fortnight. I would love to give her some grief but every corner I go around they tell me they can't or won't help.

As far as her story, she has had it very well written up for the family court (it reads like a horror story , she has made 100 points of violence and child abuse) even though it's all B-S and her say but in the magistrates court they still believed her more than me so left her on the VRO but I got the kids off it. Now she is still trying to keep them from me. So hard to pull her story apart when its just my word against her and I'm the male.

 

[Rod]

re: Business. Get her removed from every official record. Report her to ASIC anyway. While your lawyers are probably right, do it anyway. If you have lost money through her fraud initiate civil action to recover the money. I assume you've already changed bank accounts and have moved money into those new accounts.

Start documenting all lies, and all future contact.

re: Kids. I'm not suggesting you will get 100%, but that is your starting point and maybe get 50/50. If you start at 50/50 you may get something less. Does she drink alcohol? Does her father? Have they been convicted of anything? Is her father's Supreme Court case relevant in any way?

re: Defamation. All you have to show is she is telling others you are a druggie. If you have witnesses, coupled with the court papers saying you are and negative drug tests, you have an excellent chance of winning. Put her on the back foot, it is very easy for her to play offense all the time if she can forget about defense.

re: Lawyer friend acting for her. Is he still acting or giving advice to the ex? It may be against rules if he is, if so, tell him to butt out.

re: Property settlement. Has it been finalised yet? If not, do it. Get these other matters out of the way so you can concentrate on the kids. If she earns more than you throw in spousal maintenance as a possibility.