QLD Ex Withholding Kids Despite Consent Orders - What to Do?

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Made13

Member
26 March 2018
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Hi, I don’t know if anyone can help. I've Googled what feels like everything regarding custody of children, etc, but I still feel helpless.

Last year, my ex-husband failed to return our 2 beautiful children from his weekend visit. We had consent orders in place, which I thought safeguarded our kids. The orders stated I was primary carer and the father had visitation every second weekend and school holidays, etc. Also the children were not to be removed from the area we live by either one of us!

He has taken them to live 6 hours away and filed a notice of risk, accusing me of everything from being a drug addict to mentally unstable, etc. We are still going through family court. I have proved all his accusations wrong and shown that he has lied through all the affidavits filed.

I have seen my children 6 times in 14 months for a gut-wrenching 2 hours each time, and 3 of those visits he only produced our son and kept our daughter who is now suffering severe anxiety (she is only 8) and the mental abuse she is subjected to would make you sick. He stopped all contact in June last year and would not even answer my calls or texts just wanting to know about our children’s well-being.

The next court date was to get contact re-established which did happen but still the contact with my daughter is very sketchy.

My lawyer and the ICL is aware that this is a case of parental alienation but I wish my ex and his partner could see just what they are doing emotionally to our children and the damage being caused.

Our last court date was ajournded by the ICL as we are waiting for the family report to be finished so it’s another few months wait.

I feel helpless and like no one is really listening or caring about the children’s best interest. I guess I just want to know if anyone has any information. I want my kids back desperately. It’s heartbreaking not being able to comfort them or be apart of there lives. It’s like my ex is trying to erase me and our kids' family.

I should add that my husband and I split in 2014 and co-patented amicably until 2016 when he began a relationship with his now wife. Once she came along everything changed. I have always been polite and encouraging of her and the children’s friendship and never a threat as I felt happy that the kids had someone they liked in their life, but now my ex has the children calling her mum and tried to get the kids to call me by my first name (my son refuses to call me anything but Mum), but my daughter has her moments.

Our kids have always been very close and now it’s very noticeable the distance between them. The attention and focus is very one-sided as our daughter is being bribed. I would describe it as getting what ever she wants.

Sitting and waiting is gruelling.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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Yes sitting and waiting is gruelling... But it is what you have to do. You can not take the law into your own hands.

So we only get your side of the story here true... But if it is as you've said and he can not establish that you're a risk to the kids then the court is not going to be impressed by his actions.

But sadly, for the minute, you just have to wait.
 

AllForHer

Well-Known Member
23 July 2014
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How long after dad kept the kids did you commence proceedings for recovery and/or contravention?
 

Made13

Member
26 March 2018
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1
How long after dad kept the kids did you commence proceedings for recovery and/or contravention?
Thanks for replying, the day he took them was a Saturday I phoned local police, federal police who couldn’t do anything until it went to court. I also tried to retrieve the children myself but wasn’t successful.

Due to some shitty legal advise and my ex husband pushing conflict of interest (I was using the same law firm we used to get divorced). He filed an initiating application straight away and a notice of risk. I wanted a recovery order but my lawyer at that time said I couldn’t get one since my ex filed the notice of risk. Once I was with my current lawyer, it was heartbreaking to be told I could of actually gotten the recovery.
 

AllForHer

Well-Known Member
23 July 2014
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Yes, a recovery order would have been the best option, but alas, it is what it is.

What has the Court said about the allegations of abuse so far? The times that the kids have seen you in the past 14 months, was that Court ordered? Do you currently have interim orders for the kids to see you?
 

Made13

Member
26 March 2018
3
0
1
Yes, a recovery order would have been the best option, but alas, it is what it is.

What has the Court said about the allegations of abuse so far? The times that the kids have seen you in the past 14 months, was that Court ordered? Do you currently have interim orders for the kids to see you?

The court is satisfied that I am not a drug addict after 2 hair follicle tests and random urine samples and also went to a psychologist and my mental health is fine , I understand that the court has a hard job when allegations by a party are made so I had no problem doing them even though they are rather expensive.
The family reporter notes that the allegations made against me have found no evidence and are unfounded,
Yes the contact now is Court ordered and our last court date was to get my ex to produce the children for visits as he refused and still has only bringing our son mostly.
The last visit the family reporter was there and he intervened and told my ex and his partner that they are holding up the proceedings and to start doing the right thing as this is going ahead whether they like it or not.
I know I should just have faith in the process but it gets hard sitting and waiting for what seems like forever and knowing the confusion and upset our kids are suffering; I fear the longer this goes on the more damage is being done to our kids and it’s not fair they only ever wanted to love mummy and daddy without all this s**t
 

AllForHer

Well-Known Member
23 July 2014
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I understand it's hard, but I don't have any advice for you other than to sit and wait. It's often the evidence gathered while proceedings are on foot that is the most persuasive and if dad keeps flouting the orders by withholding your daughter, the Court will have concerns about whether or not he actually supports and encourages the children's relationship with you. This is a very common reason why the Court reverses residency these days, so this really is just a waiting game.

I do suggest seeing a counsellor though. It'll help.