NSW Ex Threatening to File Shared Custody of Children - Recourse?

[majella]

Hello.

I recently broke up with someone and then found out I was pregnant. When I told him, he presumed we were back together again. He lives in another state, but I broke up with him for a few reasons and cannot get past them. The main one being that his ex-wife has sent me numerous emails warning me of his domestic violence towards her and including pictures, the second one being that he lied to me when we first got together saying that he was separated, yet while we were together he slept with his wife on 2 separate occasions. I only know this because she told me.

Anyway, my main concern is his anger and violence, and now he is telling me he will be filing for shared custody of children once the baby is born. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

 

[Rod]

Why are you believing an ex-wife?

 

[sammy01]

Yup - my ex wife would say exactly the same about me if she thought it could hurt me. That said, the reasons you broke up with him do not matter.

So to answer your question - parents have shared parental responsibility. That means you have no more authority regarding the child than him. He can file for shared care of the child once the child is born... But the practical realities of such mean the courts wont grant it until the child is older.

You do not have any evidence that he is violent... You have hearsay and without solid irrefutable evidence of violence the courts will not be interested.

For the minute - forget about it. Tell him that once the child is born he is welcome to spend time with the child and that you'll be happy to work with him in the best interests of the child. Why? Because that is the best thing for the kid and you and dad.

 

[majella]

Thanks sammy, of course I want what's best for the child. And rod...well, she sent me photos of her bruises and he admitted to one of them and also admitted to sleeping with her.

Is anyone out there a lawyer who knows the law about these things in New South Wales?

 

[Migz]

If the baby is his then the baby has a right to have a meaningful relationship with both parents, the parents don't have any rights. If this father wants to pursue a meaningful relationship with his child, then he will also be backed by the courts. You haven't stated if he was ever violent with you? It doesn't sound like he was.