QLD Ex Requesting Recover Orders, Consent Orders and Location Orders

[running]

A bit over two weeks ago, I left my partner due to prolonged emotional and verbal abuse.

He has previously been physically violent, including trying to strangle me when I threatened to leave approximately 8 years ago. He hasn't recently been physically violent, although he still threatens to punch me or makes punching motions, throws things and screams in my ears.

His emotional and verbal abuse recently worsened, to the point he was waking me up repeatedly during the night and very early in the morning to scream and call me names. He also frequently screams that he wants to kick me out (the home is in his name). he says this all the time, so I sort of ignored it. He says all sorts of stuff, calls me horrible names, anything he can to try and upset me.

In public, he is extremely charming, and nobody had any idea what he was like. He also has started spreading rumours about me, according to my youngest son, who has gotten so used to his constant lying that he didn't think to mention it. These rumours include that I scream at him (my husband) all the time, that I have an internet addiction and that I am mentally unstable.

After a couple of very stressful days (including when he rang the police to report me missing because I went for a drive to get away from his yelling), he found out I was planning to leave and started acting so menacing that I rang the police and asked them to attend.

After arguing with the police (who said we had an equal right to keep our son), they let me take him and we left. We went and stayed in a holiday unit for 3 nights. During this time, my ex-organised that we couldn't visit the house to pick up more things without police, and then said we needed to have police and lawyers. He packed all our stuff in boxes and put them in the shed within three days. He also cut off the credit card and access to other accounts, but I had a few thousand on my own account.

I got sick of his games and ended up driving across the country to my cousin's. During this time, when he talked to my son, he kept asking repeatedly whether he was ok and if he was safe and implying that he shouldn't feel safe. So I blocked his phone number. I am now staying with another relative.

On Friday, I received an email from a lawyer containing Location orders, a request for a recovery orders and consent orders. He has also lodged the form that allows him to skip the mediation step, by saying that I am mentally unstable.

He hasn't attempted to ring any of my relatives, including my parents or sister to ask where I was. He has emailed to ask to talk to my son but didn't ask where we were. When he got me served, he asked for substituted service, but gave them the wrong email, the wrong address for my parents and the name of an acquaintance who would have no idea where we were.

His affidavit is very badly written, full of inaccuracies and lies (some of which are easily provable), rambling paragraphs that have no point, vague references to me having involvement in drugs and prostitution years ago (which is untrue) and vague reference to me having some sort of mental instability. It also has grammatical errors and other errors. I'm unsure how a lawyer has approved it.

In the orders, he wants his son to return to live with him, and I only get to see him for a few hours a week. This is based on the allegation that I am mentally unstable, although he hasn't specified how. He says he is worried that I may hurt my son.

From what I can ascertain, he has been planning this for a few months, as he wanted his daughter to move in (she moved in a couple of days after we moved out), and he is in line for a large inheritance from his deceased father. I also suspect that he has started dating before I left.

He has told people I ran off with someone and I'm pregnant (I'm not).

I don't have a DVO on him, as I would have had to stay in the state for a few weeks to get one lodged. I have never lodged a police report about his violence, although I did tell the police the night I left.

As we have only split up 2 and a bit weeks ago, I have no idea what I am going to do. I can't afford a lawyer, and I don't think I will get legal aid. I can't work until I figure out what I am doing. I'm a bit shattered by the breakup, having to leave the house and all our belongings and becoming homeless. I now have to spend money to fly back for the first of the court cases in about 3 weeks.

I need some help.

 

[AllForHer]

Legal Aid offers free consultations so I suggest speaking to them to organise an appointment with a lawyer. Nothing you read here is legal advice, but I'll provide information about what you can do and what the possible outcomes are.

When the court becomes involved in parenting matters, any order it makes must reflect what it determines to be in the best interests of the child, and the court refers to the elements outlined in Section 60CC of the Family Law Act to make its determination. As such, I suggest you have a read of section 60CC, and then draft and file a response to the application for a relocation order that shows why you believe it's in the children's best interests to remain living with you on the other side of the country.

One thing to note is that children have a legal right under section 60B of the Act to know, spend time and communicate with both parents and other family members on a regular basis, regardless of whether their parents were married, divorced, de facto or never lived together. Further, it's ordinarily accepted that it's in a child's best interests to have a meaningful relationship with both parents, and as such, this forms one of the primary considerations under section 60CC.

By unilaterally relocating and blocking the father's number, you've severely limited the children's capacity to continue enjoying a meaningful relationship with their father, contrary to their rights and quite likely contrary to their best interests. You've also removed them from their school, familiar communities, and disrupted their routine of seeing their father regularly, which also suggests you don't support the children's relationship with their dad.

Now, I know you've listed violence as a possible reason for your decision to relocate, but you haven't said any of the violence was against the children. The lack of reporting to police also diminishes the impact of the allegations, and that it has not been physical for eight years is also somewhat telling. You haven't expressed any fear about the children spending time with the father, so to me, it doesn't sound like the children are at risk of violence, neglect or abuse if they were to spend time with the father.

If you wish to maximise the likelihood of being permitted by the court to remain where you are, I'd suggest looking at how you intend on facilitating the children's time and communication with their father in the event a relocation order is not made, but overall, I think you should also probably prepare for the possibility that the court will make an order in the father's favour.

 

[running]

Sorry, I wasn't clear. We haven't relocated, we are just staying with relatives until we figure out what we are doing. We are planning to move back to the same area, but we will have to find a rental, which can be hard in our area. The rentals are also very expensive. All this has happened in less than three weeks.

 

[AllForHer]

I understand things would still be very up in the air at this time, but you have not told the father your intentions or where you have gone, and you've even blocked him from contacting you or the children. He doesn't know where they are staying, who they are staying with, whether they are safe. To him, it would appear you've disappeared and taken his children with you, so what option does he have for remedying the situation if he can't communicate with you about the children?

I'm sure you can understand what has prompted him to file his application for a recovery order and a location order with the court.