NSW Ex Refusing to Return Dogs, Car and Other Things - Recourse?

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11 July 2018
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Hi!

I am going through a very hard separation. My ex and I separated (we were de facto) about 1 and a half years ago. I am still begging him to return my dogs (I paid for them), my car (I paid for it, but it's in his name cause it was cheaper this way in terms of insurance), and many other things, like computers worth $8000.

He just doesn't reply to my emails, or says stuff like "I am going through a lot of stress at the moment, how dare you asking me for this things right now", or straight away he plays dumb. He loves my dogs, so he would say things like "it would cause a tremendous amount of stress for the dogs if you take them from my house". And then I never hear from him again.

He doesn't take good care of them. They are very well trained, but sometimes he doesn't walk them for so long that they end up doing their things in his apartment. I had given him deadlines to give me my stuff back, but he just says that he is too busy now to reply to my emails, and then again, I never hear back. I don't know how to explain how extenuating and frustrating it is.

I was psychologically abused by him, systematically, during this relationship, that lasted 10. He made me feel that I wasn't worth anything, and make my life impossible when I wanted to meet friends or do different activities, such as yoga. I don't know how to prove that.

In any case, as years went by, and maybe to compensate how horrible he made me feel about myself, I was paying for our rent, our meals, our flights and hotels, etc. etc. and we even had a business in common, only him benefited from. We both worked on it, I cash flowed our projects, and when we have had income, it went straight away to his pocket, instead of saying my loans back. This is still this way, and I don't know how to change it, since I need his signature to make any changes on where the cash goes.

I was able to pay for all this since I have my own business separately, that works well. I am realising about how much he has abused me economically, but I don't know how to prove it.

I am also afraid that if I bring him to court, I may have to end up paying a compensation to him, since my income is way greater than his? May that happen?

If someone could help me with this I would be very grateful! No idea where to start :(
 

Rod

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May that happen? No idea where to start

Your concern about paying him may be valid but without significantly more detail it it is not possible to comment. Start by seeing a lawyer for a consultation and then decide after speaking with the lawyer.

Suggest sooner rather than later as there is a 2 year post separation limit on starting property matter at the FCC. You can apply for an extension but it is not automatically granted so it is better not having this risk.
 
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11 July 2018
3
0
1
Your concern about paying him may be valid but without significantly more detail it it is not possible to comment. Start by seeing a lawyer for a consultation and then decide after speaking with the lawyer.

Suggest sooner rather than later as there is a 2 year post separation limit on starting property matter at the FCC. You can apply for an extension but it is not automatically granted so it is better not having this risk.
Thanks a lot!