VIC Ex Refusing Access to Daughter - Is Ex Breaking Family Law?

[Kevin Butcher]

Hi all,
I hope I can get some help with an ongoing issue.

In a nutshell, my ex-wife is refusing to have anything to do with a parenting plan for our 7 year old daughter and is constantly refusing me or anyone on my side of the family access to her. She has refused mediation and I have the 60i for this, however, due to her constant attempts to destroy my reputation, only weeks after her receiving her Australian citizenship, by false assault claims each time to a different police station, all of which I was never charged with, the Victorian police suggested I get as far away from this woman as possible as they cannot stop her making false claims ( yes, they cannot stop this ). So I am now residing back in NZ with my family.

I am fighting hard to maintain contact with my daughter and I believe it is the child's right to to have contact with both parents. I know I can force my ex to do this by taking her to court, and I just don't have the money as I have lost almost everything over the last 3 nasty years of this messy situation and I don't believe I'm entitled to legal aid.

An example of the situation is my ex and our daughter went away on holiday recently. My ex didn't bother to tell me they were going away, but our daughter let it slip during an online chat. She also let me know when they were returning. So 4 days after they were to return, I had heard nothing and had exhausted every contact to find out if they were safe. I ended up having to get the local police to knock on the door to see if they were ok.

So my question is, is my ex breaking Family law by abusing my daughter's rights?

I personally feel it is child abuse as our daughter loves her dad and has always been a daddy's girl which my ex absolutely hates and this is physiological abuse.

Where do I go from here?

Sorry for the bad grammar. My blood pressure rises when I discuss this. This situation is also badly affecting my health!

 

[Sophea]

Hi there,

Courts generally consider that it is in a child's best interests to have contact with both parents. However, unfortunately if she is unwilling to come to any agreement, go to mediation, or sign a parenting plan there is no way of enforcing your daughter's right to see you unless you take your ex to court.

 

[Kevin Butcher]

Thanks Sophea, this situation is destroying me and I don't have the funds to proceed with court action. I have moved back to NZ for family support and I don't know how that affects access to legal aid. Any suggestions as to where to turn now?

My daughter is a complete daddy's girl. This must be affecting her as there may be months where for what ever reason ( her mother changing phone numbers ETC ) we don't get to chat and my parents didn't get to communicate with their grandchild for 2 years and 2 consecutive Christmases.

I have been to mediation and have the 60i as she refused to attend.

 

[sammy01]

I understand the need to distance yourself from the ex, but I think If you want to get access to your daughter you're gonna have to get back to Australia. There are some good resources on self representing and I'm sure there are people here who would help with that too.

I don't think you have all that much to fear from court. The courts recognise that both parents generally should be involved in kids lives and as such I don't think it would be all that hard for you to get access to your child through the courts but you have to start the process.

 

[speck1]

The old mother denying father access to seeing children card and false reporting...
I hear you, and again I hear you with not having funds to go to court.

At least you have certificate now - I would apply to court (self rep) or make offers to make a consent agreement which are orders. Problem is, a lot of parents these days don't even listen to court orders and to get them in trouble, you have to spend more money and apply to the court saying that she isn't following them again.

 

[Kevin Butcher]

This is true Speck. I don't believe she will abide by any court order anyway.... text book narcissist!
Unfortunately, I now have another issue. Against my wishes, the court has seen fit to give my daughter a passport even though I explained the ex is a flight risk as I believe she has bought a house back in the Philippines ( with my money!!! ) and I believe she is selfish enough to take my half Filipino and Western looking daughter there to live illegally! My half Filipino daughter can not get citizenship there and can only legally stay for 90 days at a time, not to mention the threat of kidnap for western looking kids!!! OMG what was the court thinking?

 

[JS79]

I would put a stop on her passport at airports to stop your ex from leaving the country.