QLD Ex Refuses Mediation for Property Settlement - What Next?

[Cockatoo]

Hello,

What if my ex is refusing mediation in regards to property settlement?

I can't afford a Solicitor.

To my knowledge, when the house is sold, his solicitor has instructed the conveyancer to withhold monies in trust until settlement can be agreed upon. He can afford a Solicitor.

I have asked for mediation to keep legal fees down and keep it out of court but he is determined to make this difficult. I want to mediate to come to an agreement, but he just wants it to go to court. He has already offloaded some of our asset pool to pay his Solicitor for his Sole Application for Divorce...

What should be my next move?

 

[sammy01]

Do nothing. Get the house sold.

How much money is there going to be once the mortgage is paid out? So once the money is in trust, it can stay there indefinitely...but you don't want that and neither does he. If he won't negotiate - you might find his attitude changes once the $$$ are there and the only thing stopping him getting it is you.

Also once the house gets sold, you could seek an agreement that $XXX be released to each of you. Once you get that money, you have a fighting fund then you can go see a solicitor.

 

[Cockatoo]

Cheers Sammy

 

[Cockatoo]

Sorry, one more question...

What if he wants that money and because he can afford a Solicitor has it go to court to divide? What costs do I incur because I was steadfast in trying to initiate mediation? Or does it stay in trust until we can agree on a fair settlement...

He wants me to pay his debts. Whilst I will agree to some, I will not agree to any that have occurred on the credit card in his name after the date I left the house, unless it was pertaining to the general upkeep and renovations to the house.

I am not paying for his groceries, dating sites, misc. for example. Because he can afford a legal rep do I still lose money because of his misappropriating of money?

 

[SamanthaJay]

A Judge will order mediation before it gets to that point. It might be worth your while finding a solicitor who is prepared to wait to be paid when the property settlement occurs.

 

[sammy01]

Don't worry about what if's...

Look there are two sides to every story. So he is living in the house, right? Well, technically the house is half yours, right? But are you paying half of the mortgage? Nope... Ok, so stay calm... Nope, you're not gonna have to pay his grocery bills, etc.

Now mediation has to happen no magistrate will order anything without mediation. You will also have to get legal representation down the track. No legal agreement pertaining to property can be finalised without both parties getting legal representation. But let's take small steps.

So tell us what has happened so far. Is the house on the market? Now I'm assuming your name is on the title of the place? So more info. How long were you married? Are there kids? What does he earn? What do you earn?

 

[Cockatoo]

25 years all up. Divorce will be final 2 Sept. 5 children all up. I have the 8-year-old with me and our 15-year-old moved out of his father's care. House has been sold and settles next week.

I worked 7 years of our time together and stayed home the rest of the time to be the stay at home. I left because of DV issues yet never took out an order. Was placed in refuge. Have been separated since April last year. I finally found a place to stay in a remote location.

He earns about 75,000. I am merely on Newstart waiting to start a course to give me some form of chance of re-entering the work force. Child support has only just kicked in a couple of months ago. Yes name is on title however as I mentioned house has sold. I bought to the relationship 5000, a house full of furniture and a car.

He accuses me of not contributing financially at all and believe all money belongs to him and that I am only entitled to what I came with. He came with 2 overnight bags. He does not financially support our 15-year-old at all and the fact that he has moved out concerns me very much. He texts me yesterday and said he will not participate in mediation he wants the courts to settle matters fairly.

I am dealing with a Narc. His way or the highway. I want no more or no less than what I am entitled to but he is all about greed. I have financially supported our 8-year-old since leaving the marital home with just a few bags of clothes. I moved 8 hours away. He hasn't called our daughter in nearly 3 months.

I have us both attending counselling. I am trying to cover all of my bases responsibly the best I can. He refuses to agree on a parenting plan. I am exasperated and very anxious

 

[sammy01]

Ok, so how much money is gonna be in the kitty once the mortgage is dispersed?

Right now I'm just interested in the house profit - nothing else.

 

[Cockatoo]

Once mortgage, agent and conveyancer are paid about 40,000

 

[sammy01]

So I think your best bet is it to offer a settlement where you take $30 000 and he keeps his super. Theoretically, you can avoid court / solicitors, etc., if he agrees. If he doesn't I'd suggest you advise him to apply to court.