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QLD Ex on Drugs Taking Me to Family Court?

Discussion in 'Family Law Forum' started by Cj21, 12 October 2016.

  1. Cj21

    Cj21 Member

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    Ok, so basically my ex admitted to my face that he is still using drugs and showed me the injection marks on his arms. I kicked him out and since then haven't let him have our son for obvious reasons. I also fear for my safety because he has been physically abusive throughout our relationship and put my son in harm's way.

    He has also threatened to take my son and not return him more than once. I have texts to prove this. He told me he had begun the mediation process which I was happy to do and have been waiting to be contacted. But now I have received a letter from his lawyer stating that if I do not allow my ex to have him every weekend ASAP they are taking me to family court and by passing mediation as this is an urgent matter. I ignored it and have found out they just paid to start family court proceedings and I can expect a summons.

    I'm terrified that my ex will be given what he wants and then my son will be in danger. 2 days after he told me he was still using, he crashed into the back of someone so I am so scared about my son being in the car with him.

    I'm scared of my ex being violent and also not returning my son to me. I was going to try and organise supervised visits, drug testing and consent orders during mediation but now I have no idea how the family court will handle this. I have some texts, a diary and witnesses as evidence but again I don't know how much they count.

    Sorry for the long post.
     
  2. sammy01

    sammy01 Well-Known Member

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    Contact Legal Aid.

    Wait until you find out if they have definitely filed for court. Be patient. If he has made a court application, you will have to decide whether or not to get a solicitor, or self-represent. But slow down for the minute.
     
  3. AllForHer

    AllForHer Well-Known Member

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    Sorry, just for clarity, would you mind telling the forum what your question is? It'll help me and others provide the most accurate answer we can.
     
  4. Cj21

    Cj21 Member

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    My question is will the courts make me hand him over without having anything in place to protect him?

    Also I am elegible for legal aid. The letter says they are going for court costs as well. Depending how long this takes I may no longer be working as I am pregnant and cant work forever. How am I supposed to afford court costs?
     
  5. Cj21

    Cj21 Member

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    I have an appointment in a couple of weeks. Im just trying to get any info I can. I'm very stressed about it and feel alone. His parents are paying for the lawyer even though they are aware of his behaviour.

    I feel very vulnerable with so many people against me, even though I have done nothing wrong.
     
  6. AllForHer

    AllForHer Well-Known Member

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    Cheers for the clarification.

    Unfortunately, it's impossible to know what the Court will order, but there is a chance it will order that the child spend time with the father without supervision, and in your case,I would say that's a very real possibility. In the event that it does make such orders, you will be expected to comply with the orders given, and facilitate the child's time with the father accordingly.

    I do want to point out that your fear of him withholding the child is only a fear at this point. You, on the other hand, actually have withheld the child, but court orders do work both ways. While there are no orders in place, there is nothing stopping the father from collecting the child from day care one day and retaining him in his care indefinitely. Once there are orders in place, that gives some guarantee the child will be returned to your care, also.

    If you have concerns about the child's welfare in the care of the father, it is important that you bring these to the Court's attention so it can make the most informed decision it can about what orders to make based on the facts that it has available to it. You will need to compile a minute of orders that you think reflect the best interests of the child, along with an affidavit of evidence to support why the orders you are seeking are in the best interests of the child. If you'd like the Court to consider ordering supervised time and drug testing, then it is your prerogative to request orders to that effect accordingly.

    I will add that it is not a good idea to marry yourself to the prospect of the child having no contact with the father as you are enforcing now, or supervised contact with the father as you are hoping to accomplish, at least not on a permanent basis. Such orders require volumes of evidence - usually from an unbiased third-party such as the police of a family report writer or DHS - and they are rarely found to be in the best interests of the child on a long-term basis because they restrict the child's right to have a meaningful relationship with both parents.

    Instead, you're better off finding affirmative ways to facilitate the child's relationship with dad whilst also protecting the child from harm. For example, if you are concerned about drug use, you might consider seeking an order that the father's time be supervised for a period of time until a series of random drug tests have returned clean results, plus an injunction on the father from consuming drugs prior to and during the child's time with him.

    If none of these concerns prove then to be an issue, perhaps you could propose time between father and child on a graduating basis, with an injunction of drug consumption remaining in place for both parents.

    As a final note regarding costs, the Family Law Act 1975 holds that each party is expected to fund their own family law proceedings. Cost orders are a fairly standard pursuit, but also an unlikely order to be made, so don't stress on this just yet.
     
    Cj21 likes this.
  7. Cj21

    Cj21 Member

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    Thank you for your reply. Yes, it's a fear of mine, but like I mentioned he has threatened me numerous times and Im not about to test if he means it or not without any orders in place.

    The solution you suggested is pretty much what I am searching for. I never intended supervised visits to be a permanent thing. I felt maybe he could be ordered to get help or have regular testing during that time.

    Before this happened, my ex had our son in his care regularly as I felt it was important. All I want is my son to be safe. Unfortunately I cannot rely on my ex alone to provide this safety. That's why I was waiting for mediation but now apparently they are trying to skip it and classify it as an urgent matter.

    All I want is to be able to have something in place to assure my sons safety. I know if my ex gets his own way he will continue to use a dangerous drug around my son and it breaks my heart.
     

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