Well, right now, your job isn't to prove that he has psychologically abused you. If you feel that he has done so and has thereby caused you to fear for your safety around him, then you need to apply for a domestic violence order (DVO) yourself, as the aggrieved. Right now, though, you're the respondent, which means you're defending the application, and defending an application does not mean entering into a competition about who abused who. That was established when your partner applied for their own DVO as the aggrieved.
So, the first thing to understand is that a DVO is not a criminal matter. It's a civil matter, it's merely a control measure for the purpose of preventing a crime from occurring. If a DVO is made and you breach it, then it becomes a criminal matter, but until then, there are no criminal consequences to you if the order is made on a final basis. It just means that you need to stop having contact with your partner.
The process will be that you'll have a first mention at the Magistrates Court shortly, at which the Court will determine whether the prerequisites of a DVO have been met, namely whether a valid domestic relationship exists and whether the allegations made constitute domestic violence. If both prerequisites have been met, the Court will ask you what you would like to do. You have a couple of options.
The first is to accept the DVO without admissions, which means you accept the terms of the order, but don't admit to any wrongdoing. This means the DVO will be made on a final basis on the spot and you end contact with your partner.
The second is to contest the DVO. If you go down this path, the Court will set down a trial date and make some directions orders for you and your ex to prepare for a trial, at which you will make your case as to why the order shouldn't be made.
The third is to seek an adjournment. This will basically adjourn the matter for a second mention, at which the Court will basically ask you again what you would like to do.
There is also the alternative resolution pathway of proposing the enter into undertakings, which is a promise to the Court to be of good behaviour toward your partner, but if you breach it, it won't be a crime, it will just mean it is easier for your partner to seek a DVO in future. Your partner will need to agree to this option.
