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QLD Criminal Law - Charged with Indecent Treatment of Child

Discussion in 'Criminal Law Forum' started by MB1969, 14 January 2016.

  1. MB1969

    MB1969 Active Member

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    Hello, everyone, only new here & simply put my whole life has changed due to being charged with Indecent Treatment of Child

    Criminal Code 210 (1)(a)&(3)&(4)

    Basically, the 1st charge is, I said to my stepdaughter who is 11 (12 in June) I'm going to put my ***** into your ***** on the 31/12/2016

    The 2nd Charge of the same criminal code said my offence was supposed to have happened around June 2015 & the offence was that I touched her ******** when her mother went to Brisbane to pick up her new car.

    Now before I say anything I am totally innocent of all charges, I will defend these charges till the day I die.

    Right, I have got a lawyer & he has pointed a lot of things out that certainly bring to light a lot of things stated & that has occurred in around these incidents. I will also state right now my 3 biological children have been removed from my custody till I am, basically, found not guilty. Then there will be a fight to get them back because said child was under my care when the children were removed. If the said child at the centre of the allegations was not in my care / guardianship the children would have remained in my care.

    The lawyer 1st asked, "do you notice anything about the dates the alleged incidents occurred?"

    I said, "no, nothing at all."

    He then said they stand out because they are specific times. Without knowing all the story, so you won't know what I mean. The girl's mother goes to the Gold Coast every 3-4 weeks to see family and/or friends. Since she has gotten her drivers licence in January 2015, it would be about 15 times. Since she got her car, about 8 times.

    2nd thing about the alleged date is that the mum always goes for drinks, maybe every weekend and can spend the whole weekend away from the 5 kids & me, (3 kids - 2, 4 & 5 are mine, the other 2, 7 & 11 are not), and even during the week, almost every weekend, she would go for drinks.

    The lawyer turned around as said well they are easy times to claim said incidences happened because the mum goes to the Gold Coast (we live 4 hours away) a lot & also goes drinking almost every weekend. These 2 stand out because, otherwise, other weekends are just weekends.

    Now I need to be totally honest & totally upfront & I won't lie about anything I am about to say. Said girl has a history of massive tantrums, destroying her room, running away from home, lying to the point we can watch her do something & she will still lie. A lot of her lies has gotten her sisters & brother in trouble.

    At one point, she got someone in trouble at her school through lies, when I emailed the school about something important. Now her mum & Miss 7 live about 2km away basically down the road on the same road as I do. While they use to spend 90% of their time with me & 3 kids, they, at times if mum & I were having issues, would spend time at their house.

    Once when she ran away from home, she jumped out the 1st story of the house & she actually got lost. The police were called around 4pm & a reported sighting was called through at around 5:30. She finally ended up at my house around 6:30. It had been dark and had also happened after the alleged incident in or around June, when mum went and got her new car.

    I called the police as a report had been made, they came around about 10 minutes later, they were here for about 30 mins. We both spoke to the girl in question & I even pleaded with her if anyone was touching her, making her feel awkward in any way, being touched, being bullied at school. As to her behaviour, I told her that it was the time to say it in front of the police, no matter who the person is.

    The police even said the same thing, I said, "Look, ****** I will go make coffee" & took the 3 kids into the kitchen so she could speak to the police alone, came back to nothing, so I fed the girl & put 4 kids to bed (it had not been the 1st time she had run away and ended up at my place). Now the lawyer said he will get the said police report, but just looking at the evidence, it didn't seem to add up to me.

    I will also go on record of saying said girl is going through puberty & is very emotional, very head strong, very often she would bath with my youngest till I put a stop to it a few months ago. I said, "you're growing boobs & stuff & the kids don't need to see it & you need your privacy."

    She was always never shy, so she started when I rounded the children up for bath time, she would get naked & put a towel around her & sit in the loungeroom. In the end, I asked her not to get ready for a bath till it was her actual bath time as she was getting older, because when Miss 7's dad would come to pick her up every 2nd weekend, Miss 11 would run to the door, with just the towel so I put a stop to it.

    Now with the 1st charge, I will tell the little thing that happened a few weeks ago, I would say, where she would sleep where I keep all my DVD's as there is no other place for them in a wardrobe. She was in there as she keeps some cloths in there & when I walked in she had the only adult DVD I own, I actually thought I put it in the top draw in my room, but she was looking at it, she smiled & she said, "that's sex."

    I said, "Yesm do you know what sex is?"

    She smirked & said, "sort of."

    I said that's when I put my ***** into your ***** (before you all say it, yes, I know, I worded it all wrong, I know) & said you should not be looking at it anyways in a real demeaning voice & she got in trouble for it & stormed off to her bed. I said, "Fine, good night."

    She screamed at me as she always does when she is in trouble stating "I want to go home, I hate you, I hate being here & never want to come back."

    Now the 2nd incident that I can vaguely recall is many months ago, with my youngest. I was sitting on the bathroom floor to take her nappy off and undress her for her bath. She was always 1st, Miss 11 at that stage was bathing with Miss 2 as she well washed her. From memory, she always got undressed & stood almost on top of me, a few times she checks out her under arms for the sign of hair.

    Her mum has checked it too at times. This time, she asked & I looked up & said, "no, don't be silly," then she was pulling / playing with her ******** & asked the same question, "Do I have any hair starting to grow, basically on top of me." I pushed her away & went off my head & she had yet another tantrum & stormed off into her room. She tore the room apart as always. Once I got my youngest out & Mr 4 & Miss 5 were in the bath, I went to Miss 11 & said: "once you clean up your room, come out and say sorry, get a drink & off to bed you go."

    These 2 instances correlate with said accusations & charges under criminal law.
     
  2. MB1969

    MB1969 Active Member

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    At Christmas, when she went to see her father (1st time in 18 months), I warned her for the month beforehand that her room was disgusting (really was and thought that when she was gone that she needed to that there were repercussions to some behaviours, so I decided to move her out and moved Miss 2 & Miss 7 into the room.

    When she got back, you could tell she was pissed off about it all. She often takes everything out of context. Many times she would say to me, "mum said this..." and when I asked the mum, she would say, "I did say that, but I also said this,"

    Before the shitstorm happened, I told Miss 11 to brush her teeth 2 times per day, but, at the very least, once a day is better than none, but 2 times was way is better than 1.

    A day or so later mum said to me, "did you tell Miss 11 it's ok to only brush her teeth once a day?" I said "no." She had yet again taken everything out of context.

    The charge of verbally saying charge 1 was, I believe, also taken out of context. I also know she hated being here & always wanted to go back to her mum's house (because she runs riot over her mum)

    I gave up work almost 2 years ago to look after all the kids, as the mum could not cope with them. Miss 2 was around 5 months old, it was March 2014, so almost 2 years ago. I gave up work to have the kids. Now with the charges, the kids have been taken off me & now I am trying to save the house (that I own) and will rent out the very large room downstairs (shower / toilet massive room) just to make ends meet,

    I am not allowed to see my kids until the case is over with. At the moment, my 1st court case is early February, but if another date is set, it could be months. From being daddy's little kids (I am the only one who can settle Miss 2 & the only one she wants, much like Miss 5), it could be months & months before I see them again.
     
  3. MB1969

    MB1969 Active Member

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    Some more background of said child.

    I have known her since she was 6 years old, she has always been a really hard child to handle. Her real father does not see her a lot. At Christmas time was the 1st time in 18 months he's seen her.

    She has always thrown tantrums, ran away from home even from school, she sees a physiologist about every 3 weeks to try and learn what's going on. She is a compulsive liar & the usual tone when asked about something is in a loud voice "I never done it".

    I have always &, I mean always, been really, really hard on all the kids. I have lightened up in the past year or so to the point that the mum always says, "Miss 2 & Mr 4 run rings around you all the time now," where before she would say, "the kids at their age would get in so much s**t for anything they do,"

    I have always kept Miss 11 in line, always been hard as nails with her, but even I said to her mum, "Miss 11 is getting harder & harder to keep under control", where before I use to be able to easily sort her out. Now I can't.

    In the past year, every time I would tear into her about something, and I will again be honest, it was often, at times every 2nd day, she would tantrum, scream at the top of her voice, "I hate you, I wish were never here, I want to go home, I hate that you're with mum," etc.

    One day at bath time only in the last month I heard Miss 11 & Miss 5 saying vagina over and over, I went into the bathroom as I was finishing & the other starting her bath. While I said it was not a naughty word when used when required, but it is rather bullshit that the pair of you are just saying it for the fun of it. Both got into trouble big time for the flippant use of the word.

    My lawyer said the charges are on the very minor end of the scale, almost the most minor there is especially charge 1 & it just don't seem right that the only 2 charges are so far apart hence why the specific time frames correlate with certain events. He said, "Look, to me if you were having indecent dealings with her, there should be many more & being as hard as you are on her, you would have thought she would have said something a long time ago."

    He said, "Look, at the end of the day, we will try to win the case, then we sort the children out."

    I asked what happens at the 1st court appearance, and he said, "well, we will go there, plead not guilty & put forward this evidence that the police & child protection don't have & 1st of all, I will try to get all charges dismissed there & then. That's the absolute best-case scenario, otherwise they will make a new date for the actual trial."

    He said the good thing is we have a police report & the physiologist reports to prove she has mental health issues or he said something else but I don't recall it.
     
  4. MB1969

    MB1969 Active Member

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    I will say I don't blame the mum at all, I don't at all believe she has any input into the accusations. I do honestly believe it's so she doesn't have to come here anymore. I don't blame the mum for going to the police either.

    No matter what, the relationship with the mum is over. We've been together for 5 years and were looking forward to an okay future. Up to the day, everything was ok.

    Would mum have doubts? I don't know. You want to believe your children no matter what, Have I been a bit lax with it all? Possibly, but no matter what, there certainly will never be anything ever again with the mum (yes i love her so much no matter how lazy, how selfish & how dirty she is, how she can't cope with the kids, thoughI am pretty sure she will be getting help for now but that will soon end). That is all now consigned to history when I'm found innocent ( I hope).

    I won't be doing anything more, I won't judge said child. All I know is that my life is in ruins for 2, it would seem, very minor instances ( yes nothing is ever minor).

    1st is to clear my name, then fight for the kids.

    If I get them back, nothing will change. The relationship is totally over. How could you like being in a relationship where everything you do will be under suspicion.

    Thanks for reading
     
  5. AllForHer

    AllForHer Well-Known Member

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    Can you please clarify what your legal question is?
     
  6. MB1969

    MB1969 Active Member

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    It's not really a legal question I suppose. It's more just getting a lot off my chest. I found this forum & decided to get it all out.
     
  7. AllForHer

    AllForHer Well-Known Member

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    I understand.

    Have you spoken to a psychologist of any description about the challenges you're currently facing? If not, I think you should consider doing so. There are some admissions in your posts that make me believe you would benefit from it.
     
  8. MB1969

    MB1969 Active Member

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    Thank you for you post, I never thought about it but yes I can do that.

    Can you please point out the admissions even if it's a message just so I know what you mean is all? Nothing meant by it at all.
     
  9. AllForHer

    AllForHer Well-Known Member

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    I apologise in advance if any of this offends, it's my intention to highlight issues that I think would damage your case if or when it proceeds to the family court, in the hopes that you might take my concerns on board and make improvements before that happens.

    First, it seems to me the kids are in some ways being perceived as more akin to property in need of management and control, rather than nurturing and encouragement, and I am concerned that your impact on the children is not getting the attention in needs in order to be a positive one, rather than a negative one.

    For example, telling the children that it's your house and they must ask before doing anything suggests to them that they are only visitors in their home, rather than guests, which would undoubtedly make them feel both unwanted and unwelcome. It seems an extraordinary reaction to what was merely a trivial difference of opinion about which towel was the best to use to wipe up water, and if I can be frank, it's not okay to take your frustration about a bad day out on children who I would argue have not done anything wrong. To the contrary, I would argue that getting a towel at all to wipe up a water spillage was the absolute best thing they could have done. In most households, a spillage will stay where it is until a parent discovers it by accident.

    The other example that worries me is the incident whereby the children were repeating the word 'vagina' in the bathtub. I am the last to buy into the feminist narrative, but berating two very young children for repeating the anatomical term for their own genitalia is teaching them that their being female is 'bullshit'. I am not suggesting they should be free to walk about the local shopping centre yelling about vaginas, but rather than make them feel dirty for being female, wouldn't it be more conducive to tell them that it's another word for their private parts, and is usually only used in a private sort of context?

    The 11-year-old girl is very obviously dealing with some very significant and deep-set emotional challenges. She's likely feeling very angry that her own father has seemingly abandoned her, and she is very clearly unhappy about the man that has been inserted to take his place, but it seems to me that rather than finding the support and kindness she needs from her familial peers in order to address and deal with these issues, she's instead being blamed and vilified by the people she had hoped would help her. Breaking down her bedroom is one example. To you, it was simply punishment for being lazy and messy, but to her, removing her private space and moving the other children in there was like saying 'We don't want you, we don't love you, you're not welcome here'. That's an immense emotional trauma for a child to endure, especially given her father left her when she was six.

    Kids, and many adults, for that matter, simply don't have the maturity or experience to identify their emotions and release them in a constructive way, which is why her sadness or anger comes out as tantrums and fits of "I hate you". It seems there is an expectation upon her to know better, when the reality is simply that she doesn't know better, and that cycle is perpetuated even further because it appears that the adults of the house also struggle with processing their emotions in a constructive way, too.

    Taking her to a psychologist every few weeks is going to serve as an outlet for her, but you're not going to see any improvement in the home unless you and every other adult there is on board with love, support and encouragement. Her psychologist can try and help her understand what's going on, but what she really needs is for you to understand what's going on, too.

    I imagine this all won't amount to much when it comes to the stepdaughter, especially if you and her mother have since separated with no chance of reconciliation, but I sincerely hope that it does something to maybe shift your perspective about your biological children as they grow up.

    Applying the above to the parenting matter as it would be in court, one of the considerations about what's best for the children is the capacity of each of the parents to meet the children's needs, including physical, emotional and intellectual. I think a psychologist could help you make better sense of what your kids feel and experience when their parents speak and act in certain ways, and it might help you change your mindset a little bit so that you are more attuned to what they need from you to flourish. Boundaries, yes, of course, but also praise and encouragement when they do something right, like cleaning up after they've spilled water on the floor, choice of towel immaterial.

    I'm also concerned about the negative way in which you speak of the children's' mother. The court holds that kids are negatively impacted by the denigration of one parent by the other, and often makes orders with that at the forefront of their reasoning. You don't have to like your kids' other parent, but for their benefit, it's necessary to speak respectfully of them, at the very least.

    Again, I am sorry if this offends. My intention is to help you see the actions and behaviours that would worry the court in terms of parenting so they can be addressed, rather than to insult you. I hope it in someway helps.
     
  10. MB1969

    MB1969 Active Member

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    Thank you for your reply.

    Nothing offends, not one little bit, I promise you this.

    I will state just in regards to the mother, I rarely speak negative of her, I may have my own thoughts & keep them to myself. I do love her so much, this won't change no matter what, but yes I do get what you're saying totally.

    If anything, it serves to get an outsider's views & opinions in how to be a better father & I totally can take on a lot of these things & have a good think a bout parenting into the future, so I honestly & most sincerely really appreciate your detailed post. I can take a lot of this on board & certainly I enjoyed reading the post. I am trying to be a good father to the kids, being mainly the only parent home, with mum always away or drinking so I do find some things get on top of me. I will also admit this straight away, I think I have been very lax about not talking to mum about Miss 11's behaviour.

    Again, I really appreciate your post, I honestly believe I can take a lot away from the post.
     

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