NSW Communication issue looking for advice

[LouiseThomas]

After thoughts/ideas and experiences regarding when the ex completely ignores you and refuses to engage in any discussion or respond to any correspondence regarding the kids?

How do you get the other parent to communicate more effectively?

The issues raised are related to children's matters (e.g. religion, health) but the other parent is just flat out ignoring. All advice is appreciated.

 

[AllForHer]

Well, you don't have any control over the other parent, so trying to get them to communicate more effectively is a probably going to be a deeply unsatisfying experience for both of you.

A more appropriate question would be: 'How can I communicate more effectively with my ex?' In most circumstances, change by one parent often promotes change by the other, as well, so let's focus on how you're communicating, first, rather than how your ex is communicating.

Have you completed a post-separation parenting course, by chance?

 

[LouiseThomas]

Sorry question for my sisters situation. No they haven't done any. I help her with correspondence (she has literacy issues) so I ensure it is polite and respectful. Even though its polite and respectful he won't get back to her. She wants his opinions regarding their sacraments as she needs his signature and she hasn't demanded they do it, she has asked him what he thinks so it's not like she is telling him what to do or anything.

I am frustrated too of course because I believe the way she has approached the issues is totally fine! We do feel he does it to have a bit of power over her so what can we do then?

 

[AllForHer]

So, when we need something done and ex-wife isn't playing ball, we set a course of action that puts a limit on how long things can draw out.

Schooling, for example. 'Hi, X is due to start schooling on 24 January 2019 and I feel the best choice of school for her is School. If you feel there is a more appropriate school for X, I would be happy to discuss options with you. I feel it's important that X's schooling arrangements be settled with plenty of time to spare before the new school year commences, so if I don't hear anything further from you about X's schooling by Date, I'll go ahead and organise her enrolment at School. Kind regards, Dad.'

Telling her our intentions and inviting her to discuss is how we either force consultation, or otherwise get the job done. You will find that except for matters like passport and name change, only one parent's consent is actually required (though that doesn't negate the parental obligation to consult about other decisions, as well).

 

[Clancy]

He may be thinking that if he talks, then you guys will start to drag him in deeper to talking on more and more issues but he just wants out, and move on with his life.

This is a good situation to have 'parallel parenting' - look it up.

Do you have a parenting plan or parenting consent orders?

With a parenting plan you can stipulate in writing how various issues will be handled. And you can even stipulate if certain issues require communication and you both agree to communicate on those specific issues alone, nothing else.

 

[LouiseThomas]

I like that idea AllForHer. Thanks.