Hi. I recently had my finances sorted out via barrister mediation, and it went well for me. One of the clauses in our Heads of Agreement was for my crazy ex-wife to get in touch with CSA to correct some incorrect information she had given them in terms of care of the kids. My oldest two girls (16 and 15) have been living with me 12 nights a fortnight since August, but my ex told CSA that we had an agreement in place for 50-50. No such agreement has ever existed. I have sent CSA bucketloads of information to prove what's been happening. A decision will be made on April 2. (just a footnote on this - why do CSA staff make the payer feel like a criminal? I'm not trying to get out of child support, I just want to pay what I'm meant to. I'm very generous with my girls)
In terms of our youngest (just turned 12) I was seeing her 4 nights a fortnight even though the ex has, on several occasions, agreed to 50-50 before having a hissy fit and changing her mind. It was meant to go to 50-50 during the first school term according to the last "offer" from her solicitor.
At mediation both our solicitors agreed that it wasn't worthwhile going to court over the kids, because they'll likely just vote with their feet anyway. Another clause in the HOA said that we agreed that we'd get a private, binding child support agreement sorted out. We walked out with the understanding that the binding child support agreement would be based on a 50-50 care scenario for all three girls.
As it's turned out, instead of correcting the CSA situation, the crazy ex, who was angry because she believes she "lost" in the financial stakes, has contacted CSA and advised them that she now has 100% care of the youngest daughter, whilst sticking to her claim of 50-50 for the other two, which is easy to disprove. I'm just exhausted from all the hoops she's making me jump through. She is also claiming thousands in arrears, despite it being quite easy to show CSA my bank statements where all child support payments have been marked accordingly on transfers. She has told me that I won't be seeing the youngest for the foreseeable future which is just nuts and certainly not in the interests of the child, with whom I've had a good relationship.
I don't believe she has informed her solicitor on the course of action she has taken. I have spoken to my solicitor and we are sending yet another letter to the other side going down the path of getting family reports etc done.
Just wondering if anyone else has had this experience? Is it worthwhile going all the way to court? The way my ex chops and changes her mind I'm always conscious of having things in writing, but she's not even abiding by the Heads of Agreement she signed with advice from barristers, so I'm not exactly dealing with a level-headed person here.
I did ask CSA whether my ex could get in trouble once it's proven she deliberately told them lies, but I'm told it's unlikely. How does that work? They just take her word that I supposedly owe 3 months of arrears and harass me to prove that I don't, yet she can tell lies and nothing happens? It's a bloody nightmare.
In terms of our youngest (just turned 12) I was seeing her 4 nights a fortnight even though the ex has, on several occasions, agreed to 50-50 before having a hissy fit and changing her mind. It was meant to go to 50-50 during the first school term according to the last "offer" from her solicitor.
At mediation both our solicitors agreed that it wasn't worthwhile going to court over the kids, because they'll likely just vote with their feet anyway. Another clause in the HOA said that we agreed that we'd get a private, binding child support agreement sorted out. We walked out with the understanding that the binding child support agreement would be based on a 50-50 care scenario for all three girls.
As it's turned out, instead of correcting the CSA situation, the crazy ex, who was angry because she believes she "lost" in the financial stakes, has contacted CSA and advised them that she now has 100% care of the youngest daughter, whilst sticking to her claim of 50-50 for the other two, which is easy to disprove. I'm just exhausted from all the hoops she's making me jump through. She is also claiming thousands in arrears, despite it being quite easy to show CSA my bank statements where all child support payments have been marked accordingly on transfers. She has told me that I won't be seeing the youngest for the foreseeable future which is just nuts and certainly not in the interests of the child, with whom I've had a good relationship.
I don't believe she has informed her solicitor on the course of action she has taken. I have spoken to my solicitor and we are sending yet another letter to the other side going down the path of getting family reports etc done.
Just wondering if anyone else has had this experience? Is it worthwhile going all the way to court? The way my ex chops and changes her mind I'm always conscious of having things in writing, but she's not even abiding by the Heads of Agreement she signed with advice from barristers, so I'm not exactly dealing with a level-headed person here.
I did ask CSA whether my ex could get in trouble once it's proven she deliberately told them lies, but I'm told it's unlikely. How does that work? They just take her word that I supposedly owe 3 months of arrears and harass me to prove that I don't, yet she can tell lies and nothing happens? It's a bloody nightmare.
