NSW Child Support Issue with Ex - What to Do?

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Berry

Active Member
6 July 2017
8
1
34
I have an issue with my ex-husband.

We had child support set up through Child Support Agency under Self-management. I currently have our almost 16-year-old son every week and 1 weekend out of 4 - my ex has him 3 weekends out of four.

Under the CSA assessement I should be paying him monthly child support. When this was first set up about 6 or so years ago, I was paying this monthly amount directly to my ex's bank account. Approximately 2 1/2 years ago, I stopped paying because I lost my job. CSA were advised and my payment amount was assessed as 0 during this period.

At the time my ex said to me something along the lines of "your child support is inconsequential to me, I don't need your f&*ing money". I have no record of this conversation. I should have advised CSA of this and formalised it but my ex is so abusive and difficult to deal with I didn't.

I got a new job about 3 months later, worked for 6 months, lost that for 3 months and then have been working part time since. I have paid him any support in this period.

I have continued to advise CSA of my income and have submitted my tax returns. My ex is delinquent in his tax return by about 9 years and has not been advising CSA of his updated income. He has received numerous notifications of my income and assessments from CSA during this period - which he has obviously ignored.

Last week he contacted me wanting to pay back child support. I am unsure whether he has forgotten or is just needing money (he is a long term dope user and very difficult). I contacted CSA and advised them of everything I have written here. I asked them should I just pay. They informed my that because the agreement was "self managed" that if CSA got involved to collect they would only go back 3 months and therefore would only chase me for around $180.

They advised not to pay him anything now as he could possibly deny that he received money for child support and they advised that he was the one obligated to contact child support and advise and set up for CSA to collect in future. I advised my ex by email that all communications regarding child support was to go through CSA and contact them.

He obviously talked to CSA because this morning he informs me via email that he is going to sue me. I want to know if this is possible for him to sue. The back support could total around $7500. I believe his case against me is flimsy anyway because he did nothing for years. Will a court even entertain a law suit for this?

If I thought the money would go to help my son I would pay however my ex, as well as being a long term dope user, is useless with money and will just blow the money. I am desperately trying to save for my son's university, car and driving lessons. I currently drive my son to and from my ex almost every weekend (a round trip of about 3 hours twice a week), pay for all his dental, haircuts, money for outings, phone and the myriad of other things. My ex only paid half for school fees (about $150 per year) and half for school books and uniforms.

Would greatly appreciate any help.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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Don't worry.

So Child Support Agency is the government's collection agency for child support. According to gov't rules, they will only seek back pay for 3 months. Even that I think they got wrong. I think their rules are they will only collect from the time he makes an application for payment... In short, if he calls them today, then you start paying from today...

Can he try through the courts, sure. Will he win? Look no-one on a website like this should say yes or no... There are to many variables, and we only get your version of the story, and in that we only get the info you want to tell us... So it would be a bit silly to say whether or not he has a chance.... but what the heck I'm on holidays, so I'm gonna be silly... He has stuff all chance... Ziltch, zero...
 

Berry

Active Member
6 July 2017
8
1
34
Thank you Sammy

I really appreciate you taking time from your holidays. The CSA did say it would be 3 months from when he actually claims so that's ok.
I just really didn't want to have to go to court. The guys is really abusive and intimidating and I have so much trauma that its a real psychological issue for me to go anywhere near him.

He is very irrational and I didn't really think he had much of a case - I wish there was a way, other than paying him off, not to have to face him at court.

Have a good holiday

Thanks


don't worry.
So CSA is the governments collection agency for child support. According to govt rules they will only seek back pay for 3 months.. Even that I think they got wrong. I think their rules are they will only collect from the time he makes an application for payment... In short, if he calls them today, then you start paying from today...

Can he try through the courts, sure. Will he win? Look no-one on a website like this should say yes or no... There are to many variables, and we only get your version of the story, and in that we only get the info you want to tell us... So it would be a bit silly to say whether or not he has a chance.... BUT what the heck I'm on holidays, so I'm gonna be silly... He has stuff all chance... Ziltch, zero...
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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720
2,894
Yep understand the whole intimidating caper. Been there. Not legal advice now... just a thought. Tell him to sue. Send a nice message back.

Dear ex. I will not be paying you money that i have no moral or legal responsibility to pay you. Many thanks....

Look there is every chance he will send you some more abusive guff. If he does respond with the same and keep repeating until he gives up. Stay calm and composed and just repeat the same message. It is kinda like staring down the high school bully. He does not have a case. Simple. So by calmly and intelligently responding you are winning back some of the power and control even if it is just a small win to you, it can give you some confidence...
 

Berry

Active Member
6 July 2017
8
1
34
Thank you Sammy...That is exactly how I handle him. I only communicate via email and text (the text is only for confirming pickup and drop off times). I don't engage and I am very careful with any words I use. Very short communications - anything else just perpetuates more abuse on his part. I used to have a separate email for him so I could quarantine his communications so I didn't feel stress every time I checked my mail however I changed providers and foolishly gave him my main one this year.

He calls my lack of engagement cowardly and lots of other choice words but I won't let his actions and irrationality control my life - these are his issues not mine. Life's to short to deal with idiots. I saw a sign only this week on the side of the road ...it said "He who angers you controls you" . I am fortunate not to hold any anger and know that I have always been fair and honest. Its just very upsetting that I may have to sit in a court.

I know he'll try to get legal aid and they will probably tell him they he doesn't have a case and he will obstinately proceed by himself - which means I will have to face him in court which gives me nightmares. He actually told the court in an affidavit during the custody hearings that he was a long term dope smoker and that the marriage broke down because he didn't want to work....that's how irrational his decision making is.

One of the reasons I won!

I could probably pay for a lawyer to represent me but again that's money that should go to my son. I'm very close to loosing my job again due to lack of projects and any money I have is earmarked for my mortgage and my son's education. 2 years and then my son's 18 and I won't have to deal with him again.

Thank you again....you're totally awesome. I wish there were more people like you in this world

xx


Yep understand the whole intimidating caper. Been there. Not legal advice now... just a thought. Tell him to sue. Send a nice message back.
Dear ex. I will not be paying you money that i have no moral or legal responsibility to pay you. Many thanks....
Look there is every chance he will send u some more abusive guff. If he does respond with the same and keep repeating until he gives up. Stay calm and composex and just repeat the same message. It is kinda like staring down the high school bully. He does not have a case. Simple. So by calmly and intelligently responding you are winning back some of the power and control even if it is just a small win to u it can give u some confidence...
 

AllForHer

Well-Known Member
23 July 2014
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684
2,894
Section 79 of the Child Support (Assessment) Act enables a parent to sue for the recovery of a child support debt owed to them.

Child Support's policy is to only pursue debts as far back as three moths, however the legislation does allow the father to file an action in Court to pursue whatever child support debt is owing, without any limitation on how historical that debt might be.

The likelihood of dad succeeding in such an action is impossible to predict, but the Court isn't going to be interested in a lot of the plights that seem to have been given weight above, such as dad's failure to act in recent years, his limited contribution to the child's costs, and his statement that he doesn't need your money. The Court's only real interest will be whether there is a child support debt owing by the defendant to the plaintiff, which will be considered against child support assessments and the child support payments made in light of those assessments.

Just so there's no confusion, child support is actually a legal responsibility, as well.
 

Berry

Active Member
6 July 2017
8
1
34
AllforHer - I totally get it. I understand that legally there is a debt. I say he told me not to pay - he will obviously disagree with that statement. However the fact that he did not chase or ask me, or the CSA for it for 2 1/2 years is perhaps evidence that my version of the truth is probably more accurate. That's what I am hoping anyway. The rest is just my moral outrage more than anything and of course not relevant to the court.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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720
2,894
AllForHer is correct. He could sue. He might win. If he has the smarts to self represent he could do it for a mimimal expense... if he does not the he will need a solicitor. So it could cost $5-10 k to get it to court...


I reckon he won't bother....
 

Berry

Active Member
6 July 2017
8
1
34
ALLFORHER is correct. He could sue. He might win. If he has the smarts to self represent he could do it for a mimimal expense... if he does not the he will need a solicitor. So it could cost $5-10 k to get it to court.....
I reckon he wont bother....
Oh he'll bother. He holds a grudge for a very long time and he will represent himself. He did so in the custody court case. My issue is just how much weight my argument will have as far as the court is concerned
 

AllForHer

Well-Known Member
23 July 2014
3,664
684
2,894
Well, child support doesn't work like a contract between parties. It's a legal obligation, like income tax and GST, so even if he did say not to pay it, you'd still have to pay it, and likewise, even if he did nothing to pursue the debt earlier, that doesn't mean the debt goes away. The only real exception is if you and he had entered into a binding financial agreement that said otherwise.

I'm not trying to strike the fear into you, more just give you a realistic expectation around the situation, that's all.