VIC changing schools for children

[Charlotte722]

Hi All,

I have a former husband (still going through the divorce process) who refuses to (now that we are separated) pay for school fees. I have been a stay at home mum for over a decade and am now trying to get back into the work force.

My former husband insists that I pay half of the school fees for the children however this is neither realistic or feasible.

My question is, do I have the right to just withdraw the children?

 

[AllForHer]

Private school or public school?

 

[Charlotte722]

They are currently at a private school and I seek to place them in public school.

 

[Charlotte722]

Private school at the moment, I need to put them into a public school

 

[Lance]

Hi Charlotte,
It would be best if you could discuss this matter with your ex. If you ever go to court for parenting orders it is always viewed better when you have come to agreements with major parenting decisions.

 

[AllForHer]

While there are no parenting orders in place, you and your ex can each conduct yourselves as you see fit as parents. Schools don't need consent from both parents to enroll or terminate enrolment at their school.

If it were me, I would send a polite email to your ex advising that in the circumstances, the current school is unaffordable, so you will be enrolling the kids at School X to commence at the beginning of Term Y, and if this is an issue, you would welcome a discussion about solving the problem amicably.

If you can't afford private school, you can't afford private school. No court is going to force you to keep the kids there if it's going to bankrupt you.

 

[Charlotte722]

Hi Charlotte,
It would be best if you could discuss this matter with your ex. If you ever go to court for parenting orders it is always viewed better when you have come to agreements with major parenting decisions.

Thanks Lance,
I have tried this, instead he has tried to force me to sell assets to pay for school fees. At our conciliation conference his proposal was that we sell our house to to provide school fees until I got my career back on track and could afford the fees. The registrar used the term 'highly controlling'. Having any sort of reasonable discussion with him is impossible. Although he is the applicant he refuses to put forward any sort of proposal for settlement - the only one he has put forward was conditional upon my giving up time with the kids, my selling various assets, my paying for his income tax etc etc. My issue is that most people consider him very charming. It takes a long time or a highly pressurised situation (like the conciliation conference) before they experience the dark side.

 

[Charlotte722]

While there are no parenting orders in place, you and your ex can each conduct yourselves as you see fit as parents. Schools don't need consent from both parents to enroll or terminate enrolment at their school.

If it were me, I would send a polite email to your ex advising that in the circumstances, the current school is unaffordable, so you will be enrolling the kids at School X to commence at the beginning of Term Y, and if this is an issue, you would welcome a discussion about solving the problem amicably.

If you can't afford private school, you can't afford private school. No court is going to force you to keep the kids there if it's going to bankrupt you.

Thanks AllForHer, your suggestion is a good one and I will do so. My concern is the next step - when he refuses to allow the children to go to the school I propose (a good state school close to our home) and tries to have them go to the school close to the rental property that he currently lives in. I presume it will end up in court, in which case I want to make sure that I have addressed all of the issues that the judge will consider in making a decision?

 

[King Neptune]

If not continuing at the private school is a forgone conclusion then it sounds like you both might need to compromise when selecting an alternative. Just like you don't agree to his proposal of selling assets to fund fee payment he's allowed to have a different (and equally valid) opinion on which school the kids should go to if a change is required. I'm sure you both could come up with 100 reasons why your choice is the right one.

AllForHer is right that no court is going to force you to continue the kids in a private school if you genuinely can't afford it. But I'd hazard a guess that if the kids are doing really well, have established friendships, the only alternatives are going to be a massive inconvenience for one parent AND you ultimately have a good earning capacity and a good asset base on hand then there's a chance the courts may determine the kids could reasonably continue at their current school.

 

[Lance]

Hi Charlotte,
I mention the negotiation because another forum member was going through something similar. One parent (the mother in this case) refused to authorise the children's transfer and it was supported by the school. The private school wouldn't release the children without both parents consent and basically would keep invoicing the father. It was basically pushing him under financially. I think it was a spiteful act in this case. It sounded similar and that's why I asked about mutual discussion. Your other half sounds like he is going to be difficult.

I hate to say it but sometimes its easier to ask forgiveness than permission. If you transfer them and he decides to transfer them back, its his decision and he will need to fill out the financial details. Just saying!