Hello everyone,
First time posting.
I am seeking some answers from anyone who has ever challenged a family report?
Background:
- Female, 3 young children.
- Suffered horrendous emotional and mental abuse from the children's father when I got PND after child #3 was born. I won't go into the gory details but suffice to say he was being dishonourable and when I found out, he then tried using my PND to get me labelled as mentally unstable.
I did my best to focus on the children, invited him to dinner, kids spent time with him...
After months of asking him to leave me alone and stop abusing me, I filed a DVO against him because I developed anxiety from the ongoing abuse. He abuses anyone I ask to collect the children at the changeover. I ended up having to list 2 parents at school on the DVO because he threatened one of them and kept intimidating the other.
Kids then came home and began saying he was directing the abusive behaviours towards them. My daughter started copying those behaviours and became abusive towards me and her sister.
So we had a family report done. The child who was being mostly abused completely lied to the reporter. And I mean completely lie. I felt sick reading it because I knew she was fearful of her father's reaction if she said anything. Part of me understand why a 10-year-old would do it but part of me is disappointed that she chose fear over trusting that if she told the truth, we could get more help. The family reporter weighed heavily on her wishes, overlooking her sister's perspective and wants/what she told him about their father.
So the family report has suggested resuming access for visitation to the father because it was stopped. It is never my intention to cut the father from the children's lives but for them to be in a situation where they are protected and can thrive into healthy individuals.
I am weighing up whether to challenge the family report on the structured recommendation proposed until the father can get some guidance/help to deal with whatever is causing him to do this to the children. Everything else I believe are good suggestions.
Any feedback? If you challenged the family reporter, what was your outcome? How were you able to achieve this?
Thanks.
First time posting.
I am seeking some answers from anyone who has ever challenged a family report?
Background:
- Female, 3 young children.
- Suffered horrendous emotional and mental abuse from the children's father when I got PND after child #3 was born. I won't go into the gory details but suffice to say he was being dishonourable and when I found out, he then tried using my PND to get me labelled as mentally unstable.
I did my best to focus on the children, invited him to dinner, kids spent time with him...
After months of asking him to leave me alone and stop abusing me, I filed a DVO against him because I developed anxiety from the ongoing abuse. He abuses anyone I ask to collect the children at the changeover. I ended up having to list 2 parents at school on the DVO because he threatened one of them and kept intimidating the other.
Kids then came home and began saying he was directing the abusive behaviours towards them. My daughter started copying those behaviours and became abusive towards me and her sister.
So we had a family report done. The child who was being mostly abused completely lied to the reporter. And I mean completely lie. I felt sick reading it because I knew she was fearful of her father's reaction if she said anything. Part of me understand why a 10-year-old would do it but part of me is disappointed that she chose fear over trusting that if she told the truth, we could get more help. The family reporter weighed heavily on her wishes, overlooking her sister's perspective and wants/what she told him about their father.
So the family report has suggested resuming access for visitation to the father because it was stopped. It is never my intention to cut the father from the children's lives but for them to be in a situation where they are protected and can thrive into healthy individuals.
I am weighing up whether to challenge the family report on the structured recommendation proposed until the father can get some guidance/help to deal with whatever is causing him to do this to the children. Everything else I believe are good suggestions.
Any feedback? If you challenged the family reporter, what was your outcome? How were you able to achieve this?
Thanks.