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NSW Can Father Make Me Go to Mediation?

Discussion in 'Family Law Forum' started by Fluffy, 20 July 2016.

  1. Fluffy

    Fluffy Well-Known Member

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    Hi there,

    I am being made to go to mediation over my daughter, but the father is not listed on her birth certificate. Does he have any legal rights to make me go. After 4 years, all of sudden he wants rights to her.

    What do I do?

    Please help.
     
  2. Smof4

    Smof4 Active Member

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    Is he the father?

    If he is, I'd go - as refusal is documented. To go to court you need to have attempted mediation. If you don't go he will get a 'certificate' allowing him to start family court proceedings
     
  3. Fluffy

    Fluffy Well-Known Member

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    He is, but he's not in her birth certificate.
     
  4. AllForHer

    AllForHer Well-Known Member

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    My suggestion to you is to attend mediation or risk ending up in Court.

    If you don't attend, you aren't going to know what the father wants. It might be one day time a fortnight, and then he might realise parenting is hard and leave you alone again for good.

    If you don't attend, though, the father can take advantage of his right to pursue the matter at Court. Since the Court is heavily committed to ensuring kids grow up having meaningful relationships with both parents, the deal he gets at Court may well be better than what he would otherwise be seeking at mediation.

    Being on the birth certificate is irrelevant for the purposes of mediation, and it's also easy enough to overcome at Court - if he ends up seeking parenting orders through Court, he'll be seeking a concurrent declaration of parentage, if another presumption of parentage isn't otherwise applicable.

    After that, it's free game, so I strongly suggest attending mediation. Ignoring the situation may land you in Court with risk of losing the child all together.
     
    Smof4 likes this.
  5. Fluffy

    Fluffy Well-Known Member

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    Thank you so much.

    Can I at mediation ask for financial support from him? And what happens if what he wants ie: overnight stays is unreasonable and I disagree?
     
  6. Smof4

    Smof4 Active Member

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    Mediation is basically just a back and forth and finding common ground on things you agree on. If you can't agree you will both be issued the certificate to be able to go to court. We had mediation and the very few things we agreed to are on a piece of paper. The rest will be decided in court....
     
  7. Fluffy

    Fluffy Well-Known Member

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    He has stated that sending my daughter to pre-school is not legal and he has a right to pull her out, where do I stand? I pay $1500 a term for her to go, so she can learn to socialise with other kids and prepare her for big school and now he's throwing his weight around.

    He doesn't work, has been at uni for 6years cause he's too lazy to work, hasn't given me one penny towards my child's upbringing and now I feel like I've got the raw end of the deal and he has rights for doing nothing. I hear you about attending mediation and I will go, however, I now feel lost and I certainly can't afford legal fees. I work full time to support me and my child.
     
  8. Fluffy

    Fluffy Well-Known Member

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    Can I take a support person in with me. I'm not very good in meetings. I freeze and tend to say jack. Can I take my mum in with me or do I have to pay for a lawyer?
     
  9. AllForHer

    AllForHer Well-Known Member

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    Try and remember that if you don't put him on the birth certificate, you've forgone your right to claim child support from him. The moment his name is registered with the Office, you can file for a child support assessment and he will be required to pay whatever his obligation is deemed to be.

    Also, he doesn't have any rights. Neither do you. It's your child who has rights under s 60B of the Family Law Act, which says all children have a legal right to know, spend time and communicate with both parents on a regular basis, regardless of whether those parents are married, separated divorced or have never been together at all.

    On the preschool matter, while ever there is no agreement or orders in place, dad is at liberty to do whatever he likes with the child, including picking her up from preschool one day and not returning her, so it's beneficial not just for him, but also for you to get some agreement in place.

    I hope this helps in some way, and I do apologise if it isn't quite what you were hoping to hear.
     
  10. AllForHer

    AllForHer Well-Known Member

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    You can take a support person, but they're not allowed in the room while you're mediating.

    Legal Aid, however, will provide you with a lawyer if mediation is organised through them. It would be worthwhile talking to them first - they offer legal advice on family matters for free.
     

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