NSW Approx cost of trial/final hearing?

[Lost221]

I have assistance from legal aid, but I've read that if the matter goes all the way to trial, legal aid will not assist me, is this true? If so, any idea on what I'm looking at cost wise?
My ex pays for a private lawyer, his family are constantly taking out loans for his fees. I won't be able to take out a loan as an option.

 

[sammy01]

If you run all the way to final hearing and you want legal representation it will cost potentiall 10's of thousands of $$$. you can always self represent and not pay solicitors a cent...

So I'm going to invite you to consider my perspective.... My ex had legal aid. I paid a solicitor, I had to borrow etc etc. All this because my ex would refuse to give me reasonable access to the kids and had an inflated perspective on how the asset divsion was going to pann out... I made reasonable offers to settle. So about 65% of assets and 5 nights a fortnight and half holidays with kids...

Now in the end she lost her legal aid solicitor. Don't exactly know why but I suspect it was because she would not accept that the offer I had made was reasonable... I also suspect the stress of it all had her head in a twirl and she could not make a decision and stick with it... I'm kinda sympathetic, this stuff is stressful. The main disagreement was the kids. She didn't want court / consent oders. She thought it better if we just a gree to compromise... Now that is all good and well BUT there is a substantial disparity in the amount of power / control this causes. It would have meant I could only have time wtih the kids if/when it suited her... That is not fair on me or the kids.

In the end the ex would have been better off to settle sooner while still with legal aid. Solicitors made lots of money out of both of us and the level of animosity it caused was truly horrific...

Now I know nothing about your case - so I'm in no position to judge... Maybe you could provide information about the points of disagreement between yo uand the ex and then maybe some of the good folk who post here could give you some advice on whether or not it is even worth taking it to court??? But again that depends entirely on the details of the case...

 

[Bill1979]

Hi Sammy01,
I just have a question, what did your settlement result end up being and did you think that paying for the lawyer was worth it, or could you have self represented? I know from looking at the forum that you shouldnt settle for anything that is a disproportionate amount of time with the children all things considered.
Lost, depending on your location there are some pro bono lawyers that give assistance and work for free, though they often require that you have applied for legal aid and been declined it.

 

[sammy01]

Bill - I had an avo against me. So I could not contact the ex directly, without breaching avo... I used two solicitors. The first one I worked out was useless. The second was worth the money...

So the avo was the problem.... IF that wasn't there and based on what I've learnt from sites like this, I would definitely not use a solicitor until final hearing... I would not have wasted money on a solicitor for mediation. My ex had legal aid, but my solicitor cost thousands for the day... Nothing was achieved. Waste of $$$. But Each case is different and an AVO definitely complicates the capacity to self represent.

 

[Cairnsdad]

I was in a very similar position to sammy01 through my Family Court process so if you need some black & white numbers for reference then;

From the day I lodged the application for joint custody until the day I was granted 50/50 the full legal bill was $33,700.

The circumstances for me;

• She had Legal Aid because she had already lost the 70% cash settlement for our assets she got from me by being ripped off by her siblings.
• Although the first 10 months we had been sharing 50/50 care she suddenly changed when she got a new boyfriend and only wanted me to have my two young boys 2 nights per fortnight with no other visitation between because at this stage she was claiming single mothers dole.
• There were 2 (two) attempts by her to have domestic violence orders placed on me which were both quashed but none the less each time my solicitor got paid to appear beside me. They were roughly $3k each to defend.
• She failed to appear at 3 mentions and her LA solicitor had a last minute emergency medical certificate for asthma to present to the Judge for each of them so we were adjourned to a future date three times but alas my solicitor was there beside me each time.
• She never budged from her 2 days a fortnight throughout the entire process even though I am self employed and had the capacity time wise to be able to comfortably handle the 50/50 I was after so zero movement in negotiation prolonged it further. (By around 12 months and about $8k)
• I had to pay for 50% of the Family Report which I think was roughly $3500 because of the zero negotiation. Hers was taxpayer funded.
• Although the Judge had granted me well before 50/50 'interim' custody my ex still would not agree to making it final. The Judge lambasted her but set a trial date none the less. Legal Aid announced in the court that they were ending their representation for her from then on so she told the Judge she would finally agree to the 50/50 final orders.
• 4 weeks later she left Cairns for some guy she met online and 2 years down the track my boys get a random text about every 6 weeks from her.

This all took close to 3 years due to the delays with adjourned mentions from her not turning up and claiming DV which triggered criminal court proceedings needing to be finalised before the Family Court Judge would move forward.

The reality is that every case is different but in the worst case where you have to fight tooth and nail with an ex who refuses to put the kids first it is ugly, expensive and emotionally draining. I don't regret for one second spending the money which I borrowed from a bank and then more from family but it would have gone a long way to making my sons lives better.

You need to genuinely hope that you both have your children's best interests at heart and that the emotion plays out quickly and defuses in a legal battle because if one parent stands their ground only wanting to win at all cost then your only options are to give in or dig deep.

Good luck

Mick

 

[Lost221]

Points of disagreement,
The ex wants 50/50 shared care.
He currently has them every second weekend, and for a few hours a couple of days through the week.
At his house, our kids don't have their own rooms. He has different women sharing his bed each time they're there, which has been confusing for them. I'm told that won't mean anything, though, nor the fact he's had our kids sleeping in the same bed as him and his um, "friends".
He has been emotionally and mentally abusing them (the things they've told me, and their alarming change in behavior). He trash talks me to them, everything is my fault, I'm a liar, I ended the marriage, etc.
Our kids are violent towards each other, fighting every moment, and anxious right before going and in the first couple of days they're home with me.
They are attending counselling.
They are too young to have their views heard, but they are so afraid of upsetting him they won't tell anyone what goes on.
There's a long list of things I could add, but I'll leave it at this for the moment.
There is a long history of DV in our relationship which has resulted in me being diagnosed with PTSD. Wondering if that will play a role in the decision.
As I don't believe 50/50 is in the kids best interest, trial will be where we're headed.

 

[Lost221]

***the kids share one bedroom at his house, and at times will end up in his room, his bed, with whomever else he's with.

 

[Cairnsdad]

Hi Lost

You're probably not going to want to hear this but from my experience;

If he has employment and/or the time to be able to handle week about then no matter what you want it will ultimately be what is best for the children that will decide the time split in court. Given it is very common now in parenting arrangements, you refusing the split time can actually look to the court like you are not putting your children's needs first. Don't forget the court sees similar cases all day and everyday so they will know every excuse a parent could have for denying 50/50. For example my ex only wanted more share of the care because she was on welfare and would have lost her single parenting payments if we went week about. Now of course she didn't admit that to the Judge but instead had a handful of other excuses and each time the Judge dismissed them all because they were transparent.

The kids sharing a room? They sound quite young so why can't they? I have a 4 bedroom house yet my two boys wanted to share when they were young and I encouraged it. I doubt any Family Report Writer will say anything negative about it unless they are teenagers. Plenty of children around Australia don't have their own room's.

Who he shares his bed with will be seen as none of your business and will be turned against you by a good lawyer if he has one because you can only get that information from your children so it will be seen that you are probing them for information even if you aren't.

This goes for where the kids sleep allegedly with him and another female adult in his bed. My assumption is it is all appropriate or you would have said differently. As above you will be asked how you know where they sleep.

If he is trash talking you to them then that will come out in their counselling you said they are getting and if it's true then the counsellor will address with him direct to stop it.

Their violent outbursts could be from the changes they are experiencing but thats for their counsellor to address. You cannot prove it is related to their father and saying that they are anxious for several days after they spend time with him could be turned against you saying they perhaps need more time with him and that's causing the anxiety. Don't forget everything can be viewed both ways and will be by the Judge.

Unless he has been violent towards the children then it's highly unlikely his DV history with you will change things i'm sorry to say. Handover can be done through school for week about so almost eliminating face to face time between you both.

 

[Lost221]

There is a lot more than what I'm willing to put in a public forum, but ultimately I just want my kids to be safe.
Thanks for taking the time to answer.