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Deanmartin01

Well-Known Member
9 December 2017
16
0
76
Good evening.

I had an affair while the mum was living with her boyfriend. She got pregnant and put his name on the birth certificate. A few months after the child was born I asked for a peace of mind DNA test, the baby is mine. The boyfriend found out the result and told the mum never to speak to me let alone allow me photographs.

I really didn’t want to go to court, but it’s likely. I have been with lawyers and it’s going to cost a lot.
I wanted to know if there is an easy way of applying for a legal paternity testing or advising a government agency that I’m the father and they would assist?

If I am meant to go to court do I apply for
* application for paternity test
* consent or parent orders

Which means two separate affidavits and court applications, or should I do everything at once?

My issue is I don’t want to put too much stress on the mum because of the controlling boyfriend. He’s already attracted the attention of the nsw police due to domestic violence to her.

I also want to pay child support for my son.
 

Lennon

Well-Known Member
11 September 2014
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36
719
You would file one application seeking orders for paternity testing and parenting orders.
 

AllForHer

Well-Known Member
23 July 2014
3,664
684
2,894
Paternity tests can't be sought independent of substantive parenting orders, so you would file an initiating application for parenting orders (not consent orders, because you don't have the other parent's consent on care arrangements) and seek a paternity test as one of your interim parenting orders.
 

Tim W

Lawyer
LawConnect (LawTap) Verified
28 April 2014
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Sydney
Further, if you agree that the child is yours,
and you have no problem paying child support, then you can just start
(oh, and that you "want" to pay is irrelevant, you have to pay anyway).
The formalities of registering payment arrangements etc
are not so complex if everybody agrees.

The thing in this case will be to make sure that
the mother can access the money, but the other adult male cannot.
With that in mind, you may find that third party payments
will suit you better than handing over money.

Understand that paying Child Support does not in itself
give you any kind of right of access to the child.
 
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Twooke

Well-Known Member
11 October 2017
29
2
124
Not necessarily true on the fact the you can just start paying child support Tim.

If your ex doesn't want to receive CS then you can't give her the money. In my case I've even applied to CS myself for a child support assessment and had CS ring me back the next day telling me that the assessment is now closed due to the other party refusing to take part in there assessment and therefore is not wanting to accept the money.

What you could do if you're in the same situation Dean, is open a new bank account and put money into that every pay day with the description "child support" or something. This is a way that you could 1. Show that you have or are wanting to pay child support and 2. Have the money there ready for your son the second that it's needed.
 

Deanmartin01

Well-Known Member
9 December 2017
16
0
76
Thank you for your advice.
I would then discuss to my lawyers about one application to include paternity testing and parent orders.

The mum wouldn’t want to receive the money as her partner said he will pay for everything so as not to involve me or allow me to be involved in any way. He wants complete control of both the mum and the child.

I was giving money before directly. Then I was told to stop.
 

Tim W

Lawyer
LawConnect (LawTap) Verified
28 April 2014
4,913
820
2,894
Sydney
Not necessarily true on the fact the you can just start paying child support Tim.

If your ex doesn't want to receive CS then you can't give her the money. In my case I've even applied to CS myself for a child support assessment and had CS ring me back the next day telling me that the assessment is now closed due to the other party refusing to take part in there assessment and therefore is not wanting to accept the money.

What you could do if you're in the same situation Dean, is open a new bank account and put money into that every pay day with the description "child support" or something. This is a way that you could 1. Show that you have or are wanting to pay child support and 2. Have the money there ready for your son the second that it's needed.
I agree. Paying is an obligation (yours), but the other person accepting it is, yes, optional.
As to the suggestion to put the money aside in a separate account, I concur.
If nothing else, you can show that you have been meeting your obligation to pay, should the money ever be called upon.
 

Deanmartin01

Well-Known Member
9 December 2017
16
0
76
Hi all

Still no reply from the mum to my emails, so I’m thinking court is the only way.

We tried family relationship centre for mediation, but after the Mother and her boyfriends first solo meeting with the counselling team I was emailed to say they can’t help and they provided the certificate for court.

If going to court should I just ask for the DNA testing first then parent orders? Or DNA testing and equal access to my baby?

I was just confused about when to lodge paperwork and if everything is easier if it’s detailed on one affidavit. I have written up a draft affidavit but I would like some directions before sitting down again with the family lawyers.

Thanks so much.
 

AllForHer

Well-Known Member
23 July 2014
3,664
684
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So, my suggestion would be to file an initiating application and tick the box for interim orders, as well.

Final orders is where you would be seeking regular time with the kid - five nights a fortnight, or equal time, or whatever you think is in the child's best interests.

The interim orders you will want are a) a paternity test, b) orders for both parents to do all things necessary to have the child's birth certificate corrected if the paternity test identifies you as the father, and c) some time with the child. We can probably help you work out what time with the child is appropriate at this stage - how old is the child? How far apart from each other do you and mum live?

In your affidavit, you cover the issues for both the interim and final orders. So, you would explain the situation - when you met mum, that you had sexual relations on [date], that you had a DNA test completed on [date] which identified you as having a % chance of being the child's father, that you believe the child will benefit from having a meaningful relationship with you, that you wish to participate full in the child's upbringing, that can provide for the child, etc.

It's important that you include the results from the first DNA test, as well. It is evidence to support your interim orders for spending time with the kid immediately, rather than waiting until a second, Court-appropriate DNA test has been completed.
 

Deanmartin01

Well-Known Member
9 December 2017
16
0
76
Thank you so much for your reply, I am slowly getting my head around these forms.

I found the form which I think is the correct one, I attached it, although I didn’t think I would be applying for final orders. Isn’t that something that I should be doing later?

The mother lives in the same city as me, not too far. The child is 2 years old.

I would love to submit an initiating application soon, with interim orders as you stated.

I love the simplicity of your opinion. I have an affidavit almost prepared, just need to include about what I would like. My original affidavit was more about proof that I am the father and the time spent with the mum and our sexual relations. However I don’t really want to go into too much detail in this as it would be embarrassing for both parties.

I have kept all evidence of our relationship but the mum said she would fight me in court as she would be under pressure from the boyfriend to have me around. Not sure how she can do that as we had a wonderful relationship and I am giving them space to sort out their issues for over 1 year now.

I asked for family relations to get involved and also the police for a welfare check on the baby as advised by the family centre after a few months of no contact or response.

There has been no contact now for a few more months.

I think it’s time for legal help, but I wanted to research or to learn the least invasive way to get access to my little boy. No matter how I’ve been treated I still don’t want people upset.

Thanks for any help offered.

http://www.familycourt.gov.au/wps/w...-b8f04eb9-e582-4061-9156-0ebf9e6e1f6f-lZTKhzf
 
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