I had mediation today to try negotiating for new consent orders that would allow me to relocate. I have been waiting since February for mediation to happen but in the meantime I had been trying to have a reasonable discussion with my ex in order to come to some sort of agreement that we could work with once we got to mediation. So far he had refused to negotiate,and then he had agreed that my reasons for wanting to move were fair and said he would negotiate and then stopped communicating about it altogether. Ok, fair enough. I decided to just wait for mediation to have a reasonable discussion. Today, my ex not only refused to get on the phone and talk to me forcing the mediator to have to keep calling back and forth but then my ex basically refused to have a discussion at all. I can't discuss what was said during the conference call but basically I was denied the option of being able to move. I'm ok with that, but I would have liked to be able to raise some of the issues we have had that have affected our ability to co-parent peacefully.
I'm taking the matter to court. Ive been told I have a good chance of getting legal aid because I've done everything in my power to make things work in my ex's benefit if I did move. I'm getting the s60i certificate and my lawyer is applying for legal aid for me immediately. We are also applying for a costs order on legal aids behalf if I do get a legal aid grant. I don't know how my ex will react if the costs order is granted. How often do costs orders actually get granted?
In regards to our situation and what changes I'm asking for:
I originally lived in location A, my ex also lived in location A. He moved two hours away to location B. He never really bothered to have a relationship with our son. So when I said I was thinking about moving a little closer he asked if I would move to location B too. I agreed for my son's sake. As soon as I moved to location B his wife withheld my son from me and I went to court for relocation orders. I got final orders June last year. My mental health suffered severely from the trauma of losing my son for so long and so suddenly and ended up seeing a psychologist. My ex and his wife have been making life hell for us in our new location, publicly denigrating us, forcing the owner of the take away downstairs to complain about them doing it in front of their customers and also denigrating me to my son's school. They also keep interfering in my day to day life and decision making even though it's over simple things like rash cream or school excursions for example, and they send me insulting and nasty messages. Because I have no family, friends or contacts for support here I told him that we would be better off moving back to location A where I could have a better support network to help raise my kids. I also have a husband who I share a child with in location A that I would like to make things work with and who also wants to see his son. My ex agreed with my reasons for wanting to move. At the moment my ex has two hours after school on Tuesday, every second weekend, half holidays and overnight on special occassions. He also does all the travelling. I told him I would do all the travelling, incurring the costs of that myself. I told him he would keep every second weekend. He would keep half of all school holidays but with the holidays following term three I said he could have the full two weeks so they could take my son away with them when they do their annual trip. I also told him that for special occassions he could have the full weekend instead of just an overnight stay. I asked for every second Christmas and Easter. I also offered more phone and Skype time.
I'm planning on doing all the paperwork myself, utilising the duty solicitor as much as possible to reduce costs. I am choosing to be represented, I can't self represent as I loose my nerve too easily. What advice could I get that would help me deal with someone who is rude to me and refuses to co-operate, in order to make going to court a little smoother. I feel like I have a fight on my hands. I feel like it's become a power struggle for my ex with his wife fueling the flames.
What kinds of things should I put into my affidavit and what kinds of things should I leave out? I have so much evidence against my ex but if I used even a fraction of them as annexures my affidavit would end up massively long.
I mentioned to my lawyer that I was thinking about sitting in on a couple of court cases to get the feel of the judge we will get, but she said that there's a group that do this so often at this courthouse that the court staff have started noticing when people do it and it may not be such a good idea. From experience, what has anyone learned from their own cases involving their children that would help me understand what the judge is likely to be looking for from me and the kinds of questions that may be asked?
Sorry this is a long one.
I'm taking the matter to court. Ive been told I have a good chance of getting legal aid because I've done everything in my power to make things work in my ex's benefit if I did move. I'm getting the s60i certificate and my lawyer is applying for legal aid for me immediately. We are also applying for a costs order on legal aids behalf if I do get a legal aid grant. I don't know how my ex will react if the costs order is granted. How often do costs orders actually get granted?
In regards to our situation and what changes I'm asking for:
I originally lived in location A, my ex also lived in location A. He moved two hours away to location B. He never really bothered to have a relationship with our son. So when I said I was thinking about moving a little closer he asked if I would move to location B too. I agreed for my son's sake. As soon as I moved to location B his wife withheld my son from me and I went to court for relocation orders. I got final orders June last year. My mental health suffered severely from the trauma of losing my son for so long and so suddenly and ended up seeing a psychologist. My ex and his wife have been making life hell for us in our new location, publicly denigrating us, forcing the owner of the take away downstairs to complain about them doing it in front of their customers and also denigrating me to my son's school. They also keep interfering in my day to day life and decision making even though it's over simple things like rash cream or school excursions for example, and they send me insulting and nasty messages. Because I have no family, friends or contacts for support here I told him that we would be better off moving back to location A where I could have a better support network to help raise my kids. I also have a husband who I share a child with in location A that I would like to make things work with and who also wants to see his son. My ex agreed with my reasons for wanting to move. At the moment my ex has two hours after school on Tuesday, every second weekend, half holidays and overnight on special occassions. He also does all the travelling. I told him I would do all the travelling, incurring the costs of that myself. I told him he would keep every second weekend. He would keep half of all school holidays but with the holidays following term three I said he could have the full two weeks so they could take my son away with them when they do their annual trip. I also told him that for special occassions he could have the full weekend instead of just an overnight stay. I asked for every second Christmas and Easter. I also offered more phone and Skype time.
I'm planning on doing all the paperwork myself, utilising the duty solicitor as much as possible to reduce costs. I am choosing to be represented, I can't self represent as I loose my nerve too easily. What advice could I get that would help me deal with someone who is rude to me and refuses to co-operate, in order to make going to court a little smoother. I feel like I have a fight on my hands. I feel like it's become a power struggle for my ex with his wife fueling the flames.
What kinds of things should I put into my affidavit and what kinds of things should I leave out? I have so much evidence against my ex but if I used even a fraction of them as annexures my affidavit would end up massively long.
I mentioned to my lawyer that I was thinking about sitting in on a couple of court cases to get the feel of the judge we will get, but she said that there's a group that do this so often at this courthouse that the court staff have started noticing when people do it and it may not be such a good idea. From experience, what has anyone learned from their own cases involving their children that would help me understand what the judge is likely to be looking for from me and the kinds of questions that may be asked?
Sorry this is a long one.
