NSW 12 year old left to live with dad

[ChellG]

Yesterday my almost 12 year old daughter and my 9 year old son were meant to be returned to me before there dad left to move 10hours away on the northern NSW boarder. It was my to be that start of the week that kids were going to be living with me 80% of the time due to his move that we had both agreed to and I know I regettingley wished I hadn’t let them see there dad before he left as he said my daughter isn’t coming home and maybe not my son. I had no resources to back me up and at this stage it’s only been a mutual verbal agreement even though we are in the middle of mediation to sort it out with more secure plans in a parental agreement. I managed to go and get my son to come home with me but my daughter said she had made up her mind to go with her dad. I had no choice but to let her go. She is enrolled to start high school Wednesday and has moved everything from her dads into my home as we have shared the kids 50/50 since our divorce 7 years ago. We are all ready for school and now she said she will go to school up there with her dad. As it was Sunday and now Monday public holiday I’m waiting till I can call my lawyer to find out what my rights are with my ex leaving with her without my consent. My mediatior was informed and said the wheels are in motion and that’s all I can do at this stage until I meet with the ex. My daughter was I’m sure cohered in the 2 nights she was with her dad as she has been telling me from age 7 she can choose at the age of 12. She has gone with the mini backpack she had taken a pair of thongs and has left all her belongings, friends and 2 little brothers without much emotion to a place she hardly knows anyone on a farm about to start high school.

 

[GlassHalfFull]

All I can say is that it will most likely come out in the wash whether she was coerced or not. Without knowing much about your arrangements or either parent's relationship with the girl, I can't really comment much more than that, except to say that without court orders, nothing prevents things like this from happening. As long as you're seen to be doing what's in the child's best interests, (and particularly if he is not) it may look favourably on you when the court eventually makes a decision (if it gets to that point). In the mean time, yes it's messy and I can only imagine how difficult it is for you. But these forums are littered with sad stories involving children being separated from parents... That's the nature of it.

 

[ChellG]

All I can say is that it will most likely come out in the wash whether she was coerced or not. Without knowing much about your arrangements or either parent's relationship with the girl, I can't really comment much more than that, except to say that without court orders, nothing prevents things like this from happening. As long as you're seen to be doing what's in the child's best interests, (and particularly if he is not) it may look favourably on you when the court eventually makes a decision (if it gets to that point). In the mean time, yes it's messy and I can only imagine how difficult it is for you. But these forums are littered with sad stories involving children being separated from parents... That's the nature of it.

 

[ChellG]

The good news is my daughter rang me Monday afternoon and said she wanted to come home. As my ex said he couldn’t afford to fly her home I went to Gold Coast to meet her and fly home with her today. She is acting like nothing happened and said “ you knew I’d come back mum didn’t you” I responded with a didn’t know but iv been trying to explain to her about it and she says she doesn’t want to talk about it. Guess this is the start of what’s to come with a almost teenager. I’m just glad she is back to start high school tomorrow

 

[GlassHalfFull]

Oh wow... bit of a drama queen... Definitely sounds like she could be a handful, I hope you gave her a (loving) serve for having turned not only your life upside down but potentially her father too. I have no idea what he thinks of all this, but luckily it was sorted out now and now months later after he ended up buying a room full of furniture and clothes for her. She needs to know she has to take this kind of thing seriously at least and isn't something that she can just do on a whim to test her boundaries, especially with the way she seems to be acting like nothing happened... That's my parenting advice anyway! Hopefully it doesn't happen again.