QLD How Would Family Court Play Out?

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rjm

Well-Known Member
2 February 2020
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Jesso just ignore anything that's obviously not coming from the right place. The your versus you're reference & listing education levels is not worth a response. Don't let it upset you. You sound like you've taken on board the genuine advice that's been offered. **ck the rest :). Best of luck with it & stay safe.
 
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smallcat

Well-Known Member
8 January 2020
33
0
121
Hi Jesso, I feel sorry for your situation. Was he the person who runied this marriage?
During your previous relationship, has he changed since the begining and become a different person at the end?
How much % do you think that he did wrong? Did he intentionally hurt you or did he hate you?
I want to see how bad a man/father can be.
 

Helen_FLDW

Active Member
26 March 2018
9
0
31
Hope this doesn't come across the wrong way but my personal advise would be for the mother to comletely disengage from the father. no contact, regardless of anything. if he wants to even try to see the child then he has to put a hell of a lot of work in - parenting proceedings are very long and unbelieveably life consuming. sounds as though he's not the type to put that kind of effort in.

on the flip side, if he did then it will take aroumd 6-12 months for him to get unsupervised access to the child.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
5,152
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2,894
It does come across the wrong way and the advice is really poor form. To summarise - make it really hard. Maybe dad will give up....

To elaborate - REALLY POOR FORM
1. We're talking about a child here and the chance for that child to know his/her parents and you wanna make that difficult? Shame on you.
2. You're only getting one side of this story with which to form your opinion. (btw that story is that dad wants to see the kid and has been trying for a long time - he just doesn't see why he has to pay a solicitor just to see his own kid)
3. We're talking about a child and them having a chance to know one of their parents. You want that to be made difficult? shame on you. Yep, wrote it twice because it matters lots
4. It is very rare for me to engage in gender / sexism arguments. But just this once... When did it become ok for a woman to become judge jurer and executioner in family law cases? So your advice is make dad jump through as many hoops as possible (like a dolphin at the zoo? a play thing?) Manipulate and control the situation and if dad meets your threshold then maybe, maybe he can see the kid? but only under mum's strict rules? Talk about abuse of power. shame on you.
5.The poster needs to ignore your advice because her original question was 'how would this play out in court?" The answer is - NOT GOOD. By following Helen's advice, you'll be a good canditate for a case being made that you're alienating the other parent from the child. You're also risking having a cost order made against you. Basically, if it is deemed you're wasting the courts time in your efforts to make dad 'put a hell of a lot of work in' then you could be ordered to pay some or all of his expenses and IF you're lucky enough to start with a legal aid grant, your refusal to be reasonable could see you lose that legal aid grant, so you'll either have to fund your own case OR self represent, which is not for the faint hearted.
6. The only thing that you got right. "parenting proceedings are very long and unbelieveably life consuming."

So lets look at that bit of your advice in a bit more detail. Let me give you four hypotheticals.
1. Faced with the realities of court and the realisation that mum is gonna make this as hard as possible, dad gives up. Financially broken and emotionally broken. He just knows he can't afford solicitors at $500 ph and barristers at $1000. Mum can niavely claim this proves dad never cared anyways... She wins. The child never gets to know his dad. The child loses.
2. Dad spends a few grand to get this to interim hearing. Is then hit with half the costs of an ICL and a Family report writer. He gives up... (see my last point.) Oh and mum is out of pocket a few grand too, unless she gets legal aid. The child doesn't get to know his dad. The child loses.
3. Dad takes this all the way. Gets access. Both mum and dad have spent thousands of $$$$ and the stress has taken a toll on their health. The emotional toll impacts on both parents capacity to parent. The child loses.
4. Mum agrees to find opportunities for the kid to spend time with dad. Sure there was that one time he failed to show, but to be fair, there were mitigating circumstances. But the child is happy to spend time with dad. GOOD RESULT. The child wins. OR dad fails to show. Poor kid is disapointed - but at least the kid knows it and mum (god bless her) can proudly say she did all she can to ensure the dad had a chance to be a good dad. ... I really like the last bit because it highlights the immorality of your advice.
 

Atticus

Well-Known Member
6 February 2019
2,011
294
2,394
Hey Sammy...... i like this bit so much I decided to repeat it for you...

So lets look at that bit of your advice in a bit more detail. Let me give you four hypotheticals.

1. Faced with the realities of court and the realisation that mum is gonna make this as hard as possible, dad gives up. Financially broken and emotionally broken. He just knows he can't afford solicitors at $500 ph and barristers at $1000. Mum can niavely claim this proves dad never cared anyways... She wins. The child never gets to know his dad. The child loses.
2. Dad spends a few grand to get this to interim hearing. Is then hit with half the costs of an ICL and a Family report writer. He gives up... (see my last point.) Oh and mum is out of pocket a few grand too, unless she gets legal aid. The child doesn't get to know his dad. The child loses.
3. Dad takes this all the way. Gets access. Both mum and dad have spent thousands of $$$$ and the stress has taken a toll on their health. The emotional toll impacts on both parents capacity to parent. The child loses.
4. Mum agrees to find opportunities for the kid to spend time with dad. Sure there was that one time he failed to show, but to be fair, there were mitigating circumstances. But the child is happy to spend time with dad. GOOD RESULT. The child wins. OR dad fails to show. Poor kid is disapointed - but at least the kid knows it and mum (god bless her) can proudly say she did all she can to ensure the dad had a chance to be a good dad. ... I really like the last bit because it highlights the immorality of your advice.